U.S. NewsHuman Rights


Sex, Love And Dating With A Disability

We speak to one woman with a disability who proves some narratives on the topic are reductive.
Posted at 2:07 PM, Apr 15, 2019

"People with disabilities are creative — we have to be. In this world, it's not always accessible everywhere. … That goes for sex, too," Halle Randall said.

The topic of people with disabilities and sex, love and dating isn't always talked about, especially outside the disability community. And when it is, the narratives often rely on stereotypes or group extremely different experiences together. Some narratives often focus on challenges or argue that it's near impossible for people with disabilities to find love or sexual partners.

"What are some other myths you've seen about people with disabilities and sexuality?" Newsy's Melissa Prax asked.

Randall answered: "That we can't do everything. But we can, and more."

"As a woman with a disability, they still want to feel sexy," Randall said. 

"What kinds of things do you do to feel sexy?" Prax asked. 

"Certain outfits or bubble baths with the foo-foo stuff," Randall answered.

Halle Randall represents only one experience, but it's one that proves navigating the dating scene as a woman — with or without a disability — is tricky and can sometimes be demeaning.

"There was this one guy. He'd call me a little slut, and I'm like, 'No.' I'm just a woman and I have needs. That doesn't mean I'm a slut," Randall said. "Right now I'm dealing with this one guy. … I met him at the gym. … We were working out beside each other and we just started talking."

And for Randall, who raps as a way to share her experiences, creative inspiration can even come from her dating life.

"I'm thinking of making a song about how I met this guy and turns out he has a girlfriend. So I'm not second place. Not trying to do that. I will not be your side piece, I'm not about that life," Randall said. 

But at tonight's performance, Randall has a little something else planned. 

"I'm going to be doing 'So Focused.' It's probably my favorite project," Randall said. 

"And what is it about?" Prax asked.

"It's just about how even though I have a disability, I can still do things," Randall answered.

Randall said: "I was just tired of everyone thinking I couldn't achieve my dreams because of what happened to me. I'm like, 'It's going to take a lot more than a silly little stroke to stop me.' ... I feel like I'm supposed to be up there sharing my story."

"I'm me. Accept me, and if you don't like me, that's on you. I'm just in a wheelchair, but I'm still me," Randall said.