We’ve got nothing to talk about, yet we shall act like we’ve got something to talk about.
That was the general consensus from British media after the Royal Palace announced Kate Middleton’s pregnancy Monday morning.
CNN:“How far along is she? Do we know?”
RICHARD FITZWILLIAMS: “We don’t know.”
BBC: “Another baby due. We don’t know any more details than that.”
They proceed to pour through those details they don’t know. Like whether Kate’s travel schedule will change... (Video via ABC)
CNN: “That must be a matter of some doubt.”
ITV: "We don’t know when we will next see her in public.”
BBC: “That trip must now be questionable.”
And, you know, what Kate and Will are thinking... (Video viaABC)
BBC: “They clearly want to get on with it.”
‘It’ apparently being … babies.
Then, of course — when the baby is due. The BBC’s royal correspondent would say...
BBC: “I’m not gonna — pointless to start speculating.”
And yet...
BBC: “But what are we, we’re now in the ninth month of 2014? So I suppose, well, clearly it’s going to be 2015.”
The pointless becomes paramount. In another BBC package, the unborn child’s demeanor and entire life’s role is examined. First, the fetus is pitted against big brother George...
BBC:“The new baby will have a tough act to follow. From his photo call outside at hospital, Prince George has behaved impeccably for the cameras.”
So, don’t be an a*******, new baby. Hint hint.
And second, this is not yet a fully-formed human, but let’s talk career goals.
BBC:“The role throughout life will be a very secondary role. ... Who knows, they might decide to take a completely different path in life altogether."
...No one! Luckily, CNN International’s correspondent has us covered with the basics.
“This will be a brother or a sister for Prince George.”
Also still possible: an alien birth.
