By BARTON GOLDSMITH, Scripps Howard News Service

Some think Valentine's Day should be a national holiday while others would like to see it banned from the calendar. Others, who are alone, would rather ignore the whole thing. But that's almost impossible to do. You can't even go into a pet store without seeing something with Cupid on it. Wherever you are in life, Feb. 14 conjures up all kinds of feelings.

When my cat died, it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks, even though I knew he was at the end of his life. I'd thought I might feel a sense of comfort, like I did after holding hospice for my father years ago. But that's not what happened. I was more emotional than I expected, and that can be more than a little disquieting.

The world is full of opportunity, but sometimes too much thinking can get in the way. Here are a few tips to help you change your life for the better.

1. Count your blessings. When you stop to remember what you have instead of worrying about what you may not be getting, it changes your perspective for the better.

The most successful relationships are the ones where there is interdependence. If two people are so independent that they live separate lives, and they don't come together as a unit, then the relationship suffers.

Some like to do it at night; others do it first thing in the morning.

No, I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about something that lasts much longer and will improve the energy in your relationship as well as your mood.

I'm talking about taking a moment to remember that, ultimately, you are in charge of your mood.

It seems that the beginning of a new year is also a good time to start fresh. And for some, that means finding a new relationship.

It just happens. You don't think about it. Something your partner did or said triggered you and you fired off a nasty retort or two. He or she may have just said "hello" in a weary voice, which pushed your buttons because of something that happened in the recent past. Your other half was not even thinking about trying to upset you, and may be bewildered at your over-the-top reaction.

Jan. 1 is the beginning of a new year, and for most of us that's good enough. It inspires us to make resolutions (that we hopefully keep) and it gives us the feeling of a fresh start, which translates into wanting the year ahead to be the best one we have had so far.

For me, the holidays are about presence, not presents, but there are a few things I have on my list. Here are some gift ideas for making our season as bright as can be.

1. Seek world peace. Hey, if you're gonna make a big wish, totally go for it. If the world won't cooperate, then settle for peace in your own home and life. A little less stress can make your world a whole lot better.

When the holidays arrive, they bring with them the feeling of hope. And, for many, the desire to find or to become closer with someone they care for. Almost all of us want to share this time of year, and many have some sadness about doing it alone.