By BARTON GOLDSMITH, Scripps Howard News Service

Being dispassionate when it comes to critical comments (or rumors) from those around you is a great tool for success and maintaining your dignity. Learn to develop a "what others think of me is none of my business" attitude.

When things get out of control and you momentarily lose your emotional balance, there are any number of little things you can do to regain it. Here are ten tools to help get you started.

1. Wash your hands and face and brush your teeth. It cools your body, which is relaxing, and gives you that "fresh start" feeling.

Of the gazillion thoughts we have a day, research has determined that 80 percent of them are negative. Science also tells us that we remember the negative because doing so is hardwired into our DNA. We had to remember where the tar pits were, so we wouldn't fall into them. Times are different, and our thinking process has to evolve as well.

Some people are unable to connect with their loved ones at a deep and intimate level. There can be a number of reasons for this: resentments, a biochemical imbalance or trust issues, to name a few.

One of the most damaging behaviors in any personal or business relationship is verbal abuse. Luckily, it may also be one of the easiest patterns to change.

This is one of the cases where it helps to look into the past and see if there is anything in your history that allowed this bad habit to fester.

There is life after divorce, or at least there should be, according to "Mid-Life Divorce" author Jim Duzak.

He believes that one of the biggest mistakes people make is that they go after the next relationship with the drive of a Formula One racer and scare off any new potential partners.

No matter who you are, taking drugs inappropriately can kill you.

Before Michael, Anna Nicole and Heath, there was Elvis, and before the King came numerous others. Celebrities don't have a patent on dying prematurely from addiction and accidental overdoses to prescription medications, but it does seem that this tragedy takes its toll on artists to a greater degree.

I have always been a fan of sharing meals at a restaurant.

Splitting an appetizer and an entree with my other half is always a pleasurable experience, and there is usually plenty of food. This may not work for everyone. For those who require more calories, the splitting thing may not be as attractive, even if it's a sound economic move. But it's at least worth a try.

If you are more prone to anxiety than those around you, it may be genetic.

Scientists have discovered a gene that creates an exaggerated "startle" reflex in the people who have it. This may explain why some of us are chronic worriers, jump out of our skins during a scary movie or find it difficult to heal from a traumatic experience.

We all relate to one another in different ways. Some people are very independent in relationships, others are dependent and a number of people are co-dependent (which means they put aside their own well-being to maintain a relationship with another).