By REG HENRY, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

The expression "political football" refers to something kicked around for political effect. But, nowadays, everything is kicked around for political effect. In truth, politics has become football, as the Super Bowl ended up proving.

One thing that television is good for is making you feel better about yourself -- not the TV programs so much, but the ads, particularly the ones advertising pharmaceutical drugs.

At the same time as President Barack Obama's State of the Union address to Congress Tuesday night, a less publicized speech -- no less significant -- was being delivered before a joint session of Hades.

The following confession may explain a few things. Until now I have never contemplated visiting a psychiatrist. It didn't seem necessary as long as bartenders were still plying their trade.

What has finally unhinged me is my Republican voter registration. It has become a source of acute embarrassment.

At the risk of reopening a fresh wound in Pittsburgh, a discussion is needed on the greater meaning of Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow (suggested personal motto: Praise the Lord and pass the football).

Man that is born of a woman hath but a short time to live and is full of misery, according to the Book of Common Prayer.

Or else life is long, the man grows fat and bald, and a woman points this out fully and makes him miserable, according to common experience.

When a new year huddles in the wings, waiting to be introduced with popping champagne corks and the strains of "Auld Lang Syne," opinion writers are instinctively driven to make lists -- lists of the best and worst of the old year, lists of predictions for the new.

Today I give you a best list with just one name, that of the most remarkable person I ever met in my life.

It is always a big problem finding just the right Christmas gift for some people, especially for the very rich 1 percent of the population, as I am sure you know.

While readers occupied with class jealousy will scorn me today for suggesting gift ideas for the super wealthy, I believe everybody should share in the goodwill of the season.

People sometimes ask me what I do. That's easy. Like most other Americans, I attend meetings.

Why, sometimes I attend meetings called to discuss other meetings. At other times, the meetings have no connection to much of anything.

My column today is about personal hygiene. And the Occupy movement. And Newt Gingrich. In short, there's fun for the whole family.

It is also about how history keeps repeating itself, first as tragedy and second as farce -- as noted famously by Karl Marx, who occupied a large and possibly unhygienic beard and made a lot of trouble.