By REG HENRY, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

The Internet has certainly been a boon to the human species. It has brought the wisdom of the ages into easy reach of our fingertips. Of course, it has also brought the ignorance of the ages into our easy grasp.

One of the things that people notice about me is my man's man aura. It would be boasting to suggest that people say I am ruggedly handsome but they do think I am ruggedly homely.

The rumpled look is my favored style. As life rubs up against me in all its roughness, my clothing assumes a naturally worn and tattered appearance. Socks are sometimes mismatched, shoes scuffed.

From time to time, readers will write to me to ask what I have been smoking. Apparently my writings have a hallucinatory quality that seems divorced from reality.

In one sense, this is good news. As you know, reality is depressing precisely because it is so real and my hope is to offer a cheerful refuge from the world's troubles.

It was fun to watch the right-wing crank community having conniptions about President Barack Obama being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

We connoisseurs of conniptions delighted in this show. What a special treat it was to see spluttering folks declare that the award was a joke and unimportant and then act as if it were the end of civilization.

Although all the news from Pittsburgh is about the G-20 economic summit, I wish to pause today in my contrary way and pay my respects to a dearly departed friend.

As nobody else is available in the depleted newspaper industry to write this obituary, the sad task falls to me.

My dear readers, I am striving to be extra polite today because ill-mannered jerks appear to have taken over America and someone has to set a higher standard. In every field -- particularly politics -- rudeness rules.

Be warned. Some people in America appear to be undergoing a mass nervous breakdown. You may meet one soon in a social setting or at work and I would hate for you to be taken by surprise.

So be reassured. Surprise is natural. Most of us have had conversations with a person who seems sensible at first encounter. We listen politely as the presumptively sane person talks and talks.

Some of the people who have been appearing at town hall meetings lately say they want to take back their country. Me too.

However, I am left wondering what country they want to take back.

This column is about the health-care debate, but first we must take a little diversionary walk -- because the weather is still fine and a nice walk is a healthy activity -- down to our lawyer's office.

When I came back from vacation last week, I felt that I had done my part to contribute to the national obesity crisis -- and I felt a great shame.