By CARLEY RONEY, Scripps Howard News Service

Q: My father is paying for the wedding, and he won't let us have alcohol at the cocktail hour. He's also just serving wine during dinner and opening a cash bar afterward. What can I do?

A: Your father isn't necessarily committing a faux pas. I hate to say it, but he who holds the checkbook has the power to dictate the alcohol policy.

Q: After getting a hair-and-makeup trial, I think I'd be happier doing the makeup myself. The problem is, I still want the salon to do my hair. Is it rude to not schedule wedding-day makeup, too?

Q: I invited my friend and her boyfriend (by name on the invite), but they recently broke up. Now she wants to bring a girl I don't like. Can I tell her no?

A: Because you worded the invitation correctly by having her boyfriend's name on the envelope (rather than ''and guest''), you have every right to say no.

Q: I just found out that my mom is throwing us a surprise engagement party. I'm really excited, but I also heard she's not paying for dinner or drinks -- guests have to pay. What should I do?

Q: I was the maid of honor in a friend's wedding, and now that I'm getting married, I think she expects to be mine, but she's not my first choice. Am I obligated?

Q: We're keeping our wedding-guest list very small. Is it rude if we invite my friend but not her husband?

A.: In a word, yes. We could (maybe) let it go if the couple weren't married, but husbands and wives should always be invited as a couple or not at all.

Q: I've been so stressed with all the things I have to do -- book a wedding venue, find vendors, send out invitations -- that I'm considering hiring a day-of coordinator. I'm not sure we have room in our budget. What are my options?

Q. Should we send thank-you cards to guests who came to our wedding but didn't give us cards or gifts?

A. All attendees deserve a handwritten thank-you note -- regardless of whether they gave you a gift.

Q. I've had my eye on blue shoes for my wedding, but blue isn't one of my colors. Do I have to wear shoes to match?

Q: We want to have a small destination wedding, followed by a bigger at-home reception. Is it OK to invite fewer guests to the DW? I've heard that you should invite everyone to both.