By MARK PATINKIN, The Providence Journal

Clearly, what this college-commencement season is lacking is an address from someone unacclaimed and unnoted. I think I qualify. So today, a bit early, here are some thoughts to graduates:
Mr. President, Ms. Provost, esteemed faculty, honorary guests, parents, students, it's a bad time.
No one's hiring, no one's loaning, no one's buying.

I am worried about Bo. That's the name of the new White House dog, and I don't think he's off to a good start.
The Obamas' initial plan was to adopt from a shelter. Instead, they got a purebred. I understand it's because one daughter, Malia, has allergies and Bo doesn't shed.

I saw that a woman in Texas called 911 because she didn't get extra shrimp in her fried rice. It made national news. Folks were appalled at so indulgent a complaint to an emergency service.
I am not so quick to pass judgment.
I can relate to this woman. I've also been known to turn small disappointments into catastrophies.
I had such a moment recently.

Thoughts at large:

-- I've missed this whole Jonas Brothers thing.
-- When a state uses its federal stimulus allotment to pay off its own budget deficit, doesn't that defeat the purpose?
-- It's getting crowded in space when two satellites collide. What is this, the freeway at rush hour?

There aren't a lot of things I'm an expert on, but I have a theory that if you've done an activity for more than a year, you know a little bit about it.

The pond stretched before them like an endless ice rink, almost a thousand acres of frozen surface on this cold February week of New England winter.

I saw that Barack Obama's "body man," who takes care of the president's moment-to-moment needs, is a former Duke basketball star named Reggie Love. He does everything from carrying Obama's briefcase to keeping him on schedule, and clearly, at that close range, he is party to the great crises of the nation.

It was the kind of snow Monday that was too much for even the biggest car brush, so he had to use a push broom to clear the windshield. His high boots sank into the drifts that had built up past the hubcaps, and snow got in his socks. It would be a huge burden to shovel the walk.

There has been a lot about cheating in the news lately, and on the surface, it seems to be about the money.
Last week, it was Alex Rodriguez. He is the best-paid player in baseball with a $252 million contract and has now admitted taking steroids. He said it was because he was young and foolish, but some theorize it was greed: he wanted to make sure he kept that pay package. Maybe.

There's a new book out that brings an unsettling reminder. It's called "1969 -- The Year Everything Changed." It claims, credibly, that 1969 was the height of the youth culture. The grim reminder is that its publication comes on the year's 40th anniversary. I guess those of us who were part of it aren't youths anymore.