New rites take hold as cremation gains popularity

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At Brown-Wynne Funeral Home, a family can sit in a softly lit viewing room and watch through a window as their loved one enters the cremation chamber. If relatives want to, they can say prayers and scatter flowers over the body before the metal door closes, or even push the button to move the body along.
Twenty years ago, such closeness with death was unthinkable and cremations at the funeral home were performed in a garage. But as cremation soars as a low-cost alternative to burial, and the Raleigh area sees more Hindus and Buddhists whose cultures bring unique funeral rites, Brown-Wynne has moved to turn the once-hidden ceremony into a celebration.
The viewing room is wired for iPods, so mourners can play a list of favorite songs. They can rearrange the chairs, show videos, play bagpipes -- all ideas are welcome.
"If you were an N.C. State fan, we'll have your State memorabilia brought in here," said James Baron, a market manager for Brown-Wynne's network. "You could make the room whatever you want. Everyone grieves differently. Everyone celebrates differently."
The oldest funeral home in North Carolina, Brown-Wynne makes this move as cremation rates climb.
That popularity has driven funeral directors everywhere to broaden their services, to go beyond placing ashes in a humble box, said Paul Harris, executive director of the North Carolina Board of Funeral Service. Check the Web site of most any crematory and you'll find urns in the shape of polished dolphins or a bronze eagle.
But in the state's mountain counties, the practice remains rare. Many Baptists view cremation as an unacceptable destruction of the body.
"We're just more country, more set in our ways," said L. Phillip Miller, a funeral director in North Wilkesboro and past president of the state association. "We haven't had the influx of new people."
That influx is part of the thinking behind Brown-Wynne's new viewing room, said Ron Maness, general manager.
Cremation is preferred among Hindus and Buddhists. For Hindus, escorting the body to the cremation chamber and having a family member press the button is essential, said Saroj Sharma, a founder of the North Carolina Hindu Society.
Cremation ceremonies are just as sacred for being out in the open, Baron said. The idea is to bring some intimacy to a ceremony long treated as a Bible Belt taboo. In Buddhist ceremonies, the monk will recite some mantras at the crematory door, and the family will scatter flowers before the eldest son pushes the button, said Du Dinh Le, secretary with the N.C. Buddhist Association.
"It's just like someone gets on an airplane," he said, "and they close the door."
Brown-Wynne, which dates to 1836, has one of about four crematoriums in Wake County, and 90 statewide.
Now, along with branching out culturally, Brown-Wynne is pushing cremation as an option suitable for recession years. A typical funeral costs $7,300 without a burial plot or headstone, industry statistics show, while a simple cremation often totals less than $1,000.
But as a cremation gets more personalized, the cost can balloon. The simplest urn sells for about $50. But Maness knows of a custom-made sundial urn that can cost as much as $40,000. Necklaces and lockets are widely available for holding small amounts of a relative's cremated remains.
The core idea, though, is the family's comfort, he added. Soon, Brown-Wynne will tone down the white paint in the cremation chamber so it matches the subdued tones of the viewing room. The staff wants a comforting send-off for every cremation, no matter who pushes the button.
E-mail Josh Shaffer at josh.Shaffer(at)newsobserver.com.

(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)
Must credit The News and Observer of Raleigh, N.C.