ShareThisLiving in "overwhelm" is the norm for most families these days. If you don't agree, think about how many times you've rushed out of work so you can pick up the kids in time to get to the store, just so you can jet home to make dinner and then supervise homework while you get ready for the next day.
I don't think that it's possible for anyone to be positive or relaxed under this kind of pressure. Luckily, there are many ways to take back control of your time, figure out how to get things done and still be able to enjoy being human.
If you're still not convinced that you need to relax, research shows that people who don't relax on a regular basis tend to put on weight, have a greater propensity for depression and have more relational issues. It all makes sense when you slow down long enough to think about it. But first you need to create the time.
Initially, you might try imagining what it would be like to take a vacation. When most people think about relaxing, they conjure up images of breezy tropical beaches. As funny as it may sound, having those thoughts may be more calming than actually taking a vacation. Just imagining that you are hanging out at your favorite beach for a couple of minutes will soothe your nerves and lower your brain waves, pulse and blood pressure. And you don't have to go through airport security to get there.
If life is too hectic, you may want to re-evaluate if you're getting out of it as much as you're putting in. Whether you're in your upwardly mobile years or are struggling to survive in this economy, slowing down a little probably won't affect your income or goals as much as you might fear.
I know many successful people who manage to have great careers and take time off. Even if it's only for a few hours or 10 minutes here and there, it can really add to the quality of your life.
You may not think it's possible to find more time for yourself. The key is to make it a priority. Living a balanced emotional life requires at least a little downtime on a regular basis. If you don't do this, the prospect isn't pretty.
People do die from stress and overwork, but that's not as sad as never really living because you won't take the time to smell a rose or two. All you have to do is make it a point to seize a few moments to enjoy the sunset, the music of a songbird, or the smile on a child's face.
It may not be a spa day, but it will make your life a tad bit sweeter.
(Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a marriage and family therapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author, most recently, of "Emotional Fitness for Intimacy." E-mail him at Barton(at)BartonGoldsmith.com.)
EMOTIONAL FITNESS
great article
This is an interesting article, because it's very much true. We live in a fast-paced society that doesn't leave us much time to be ourselves. Unfortunately, I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday because she let the stresses in her life inundate her way of thinking and that caused the downfall of our relationship. I think part of living a proactive lifestyle is learning how to balance the weight of stress and relaxation in our daily lives. Practicing things such as exercise, healthy eating, meditation or prayer, getting good sleep, having a hobby, socializing, and etc are great and proven ways to reduce stress and anxiety. Unfortunately, my girlfriend doesn't do any and that resulted in poor communication and lack of compromises in this relationship. It takes more than just money in the wallet, food on the table, and a roof over your head to keep a relationship or family together and functional.
Mike
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