ShareThisThis Mother's Day might be a challenge for some children who are used to honoring Mom with a lavish brunch or dinner, and perhaps a lovely gift. Unfortunately, this year has put a crimp in the budget of many who would love to hire a limo and take their mother to her favorite restaurant. A generous offering from anyone, but for right now, it may be a lot more practical (and fun) to get creative.
Here are a few ideas:
-- Bring Mom breakfast in bed with all the trimmings. Use the good dishes, linen napkins and a flower from the yard.
-- Invite the entire family and perhaps some friends over for a Mother's Day barbecue or go for a picnic at one of your mother's favorite places.
-- Make coupons for future favors, which can include car washes, housework help, foot massages and back rubs, as well as cooking a meal -- and cleaning up afterward.
-- Interview all the family members on video and make her a memories disk.
-- Make a card by hand or on the Internet. If you don't feel all that creative, there are plenty of Web sites where you can get e-cards.
-- Use your camera and printer to make a family portrait, and put it in a nice frame. Your own artwork or a combined family piece will also be nicely received.
Some people mistakenly feel that if they can't make a big splash, they'd rather not participate. I wonder how you would have turned out if your mother had only accepted you when you were perfect. No one ever is, and life is always changing. This year, putting the focus on being fortunate enough to have a mother and be a family seems to be the most appropriate thing.
Appreciating the basics is one of the best lessons our mothers have taught us, and now would be a very good time to show her how well you've learned it. Just having the family together and healthy is a blessing. I know too many women who will spend the day alone because they no longer have a family.
It saddens me to think about all the love and strength it takes to raise a family and how sometimes we forget to appropriately honor the woman who gave us life. Even if you have some issues with your mom -- and who doesn't? -- use this day to show her you are grateful that she brought you into this world.
I truly believe that 99.9 percent of all mothers don't care about the dining experience or the gifts. What's important here is that you express your feelings in a way that will touch your mom's heart, because all she needs and what she deserves is that you make the day about her.
(Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a marriage and family therapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author, most recently, of "Emotional Fitness for Intimacy." E-mail him at Barton(at)BartonGoldsmith.com.)
EMOTIONAL FITNESS
Make it count
You make a great point here. I’ve never been the type to shower my mom in gifts on Mother’s Day, usually I just make sure she doesn’t have to do any cooking or cleaning on that day. Despite how much she appreciates that, I also know that she would love to get really well thought out gift from me, esp. now that I'm older and am far beyond presenting her a piece of art that I made in class that day, haha. This year I’ve decided to get her a fine piece of fine jewelry. I'm grown up, making my own money, and can and should really treat my mom to something special every now and then. I went online to look for some ideas and I came across the Jewelry Information Center. They have tons of great ideas and have this great feature called Gift Finder, it allows you to narrow down your choices by category, material and even price, which is a big help. I will never forget that Mother’s Day about spending the day with Mom and showing how special she is, but getting her something she can wear everyday will be a constant reminder of how much I love and appreciate her. Not to sound cliche, but it's 1 day of reminding mom how much you love her, versus a lifetime symbolic reminder of that. I'm getting whatever I decide to get her engraved with her name, happy mother's day, and the date - there's no doubt in my mind that she'll absolutely love it.