Old-school action heroes return to screen

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Marion Cobretti dispensed no end of fantastic advice in the 1986 film "Cobra." This was, after all, the man who said, "You're a disease and I'm the cure" and "This is where the law stops and I start ... sucker!"
But it was a lesser-known Cobretti line -- "You're history!" -- that turned out to be the most prescient.
Just a few years after Sylvester Stallone starred in "Cobra," the era of big explosions, ridiculously thin plots and witty catchphrases was over, and a more disturbing breed of leading man started to appear. The Chris O'Donnells and Tom Cruises replaced the Burt Reynoldses and Chuck Norrises, and the ability to handle oneself in a fistfight was quickly transcended by the ability to exfoliate.
Two decades later, movie producers have discovered that no amount of visual effects can hide the fact that Orlando Bloom is a total wuss. And a familiar breed of tough-guy action hero has emerged. "12 Rounds" just opened, and several other throwback action movies are set for release in the next month, including a new "Fast and Furious" movie starring Vin Diesel and a second "Crank" movie from Jason Statham.
Asking for another set of action heroes on par with Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Patrick Swayze, Norris and Bruce Willis is like waiting around for another set of Founding Fathers to show up and fix the economy. But these new guys aren't half bad. And if nothing else, stars like Statham, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and John Cena seem to respect their elders. During a recent stop through San Francisco to promote the 1980s-tastic "12 Rounds," Cena said the old-school stars were successful for a reason.
"I'm like you, man, I miss that," Cena said. "It was like there was that crew of guys if you grew up in the 1980s or 1990s. When their name was attached to a movie, you knew you were going to be entertained by what they do best ... and that's kick ass."
We'll give Cena the last word -- and a boost in his "Rambo rating" to determine the next big action star, which will make a lot more sense once you read the chart below.

John Cena
Most resembles: Dolph Lundgren
High point: "The Marine"
Low point: "The Marine"
Just opened: "12 Rounds"
Analysis: Cena clearly has a love of action movies. He's a convincing physical specimen and he's early in his career, so there's time to improve. He also seems a bit too well-scrubbed, and his acting skills right now are average. Like Lundgren, his future may be as a bad guy.
Rambo rating: 2-1/2 Rambos

Vin Diesel
Most resembles: Burt Reynolds
High point: "The Fast and the Furious"
Low point: "xXx"
Coming soon: "Fast & Furious" (this Friday)
Analysis: Diesel has been a solid action-film actor for more than a decade, and he's already a legend for voicing "The Iron Giant." His future is less certain -- even with a forthcoming return behind the wheel, the actor seems to be focusing on more serious roles while dabbling in video-game production.
Rambo rating: 3 Rambos

Jason Statham
Most resembles: Bruce Willis
High points: "The Transporter," "Crank"
Low point: "War"
Coming soon: "Crank: High Voltage" (April 17)
Analysis: Statham is a good actor and looks great in a fistfight. He has the everyman qualities of Willis, along with the martial-arts prowess of a Jean-Claude Van Damme or a Chuck Norris. "Crank" was one of the most underrated action movies of the decade, and the trailer for the sequel looks great.
Rambo rating: 4-1/2 Rambos

Dwayne Johnson
Most resembles: Arnold Schwarzenegger
High points: "The Rundown," "Gridiron Gang"
Low point: "Doom"
In theaters now: "Race to Witch Mountain"
Analysis: The Rock has more potential than anyone else: He's an extremely likable actor who can also do humor. (He was the best thing about "Be Cool.") His best chance for action superstardom is fewer kiddie movies and more fun action movies like "The Rundown" and "Walking Tall." Then he can run for governor ...
Rambo rating: 4 Rambos

(E-mail Peter Hartlaub at phartlaub(at)sfchronicle.com.)

(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)
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