ShareThisWriting a resume is similar to preparing a tax return: Both processes require time, patience and attention to detail. You don't want to make a careless mistake in either document. In honor of tax season, here is an accounting candidate whose resume statements just don't add up:
"JOB DUTIES: Temporary tax preparer: I prepared client taxes for the 2007 tax year. I provided superior in-person customer service using the telephone."
He may need a better definition of in-person.
"QUALIFICATIONS: I have a college degree and seventy years of experience with QuickBooks Pro software."
She's always been ahead of her time.
Following are some amusing number-related slipups from the "Resumania" archives:
"SKILLS: Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years."
Are you old enough to work?
"ANNUAL SALARY REQUIREMENT: -$10."
Does that mean you'll be paying us to work here?
"DATE OF EMPLOYMENT: 2002-9999."
She's earned her gold watch!
"ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Graduated in the top 70 percent of my class."
Congratulations.
COVER LETTER: "Due to the large number of job offers impending, please label all correspondence 'Employment No. 1734.' It's the only way I can keep them all straight."
Perhaps you'd like to go ahead and evaluate those other 1,733 offers.
"EDUCATION: My GPA at night is 3.0."
Yes, but what is it at 8 a.m.?
For more Resumania, and to submit samples you've come across, visit www.resumania.com. Keep the Resumania coming. Examples can be sent to Resumania, c/o Robert Half International, 2884 Sand Hill Road, Suite 200, Menlo Park, Calif., 94025, or faxed to 650-234-6998.
Max Messmer is chairman and CEO of Robert Half International, a specialized staffing firm, and author of Managing Your Career For Dummies(r) and Job Hunting For Dummies(r), 2nd Edition. His most recent book is Human Resources Kit For Dummies(r), 2nd Edition.
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RESUMANIA
