ShareThisSometimes all we need to get through a dark time is a tiny bit of brightness in our lives. Getting that parking place right in front of the store, unexpectedly finding a $20 bill in the pocket of your jeans, or seeing a wisp of joy in the eyes of a loved one: little things like these can make a big difference in your day.
It may be hard to hold on to the feeling for long, but that's okay. If you're having a rough patch, it's quite healthy for you to come out of it for just a minute or two. We all know that staying stressed or depressed is not good for our well-being, so just allowing yourself to experience a positive emotion, even momentary happiness in the midst of chaos, will help you maintain some energy and get you closer to healing your issue.
If you take a break from your troubles, even a very small one, you can't help but look at things differently. Yes, the problem will still be there, but it won't be as overwhelming as it was. Knowing that you can smile or have a laugh while you're battling your demons is very empowering. But often those moments are elusive, so you have to get good at looking for them.
People who have pets they love can usually get a few seconds of lightness by seeing their animals happy. Whether at rest or play, our four-legged friends can give us a little lift in even the darkest times. I have recommended to many people that they rescue a dog or cat, because I know that, in almost all cases, the person benefits as much (if not more) than the pet.
Going for a walk or just looking at a picturesque view, even if you have to drive to a place you find inspiring, is very healing. While taking your constitutional, look around and absorb as much beauty as you can. Making the effort to fill your mind and heart will help you see that, although it may be a dark time, there are rays of sunshine out there.
When little things go well, when we are in the company of friends and family, or when we accomplish even a small task, our psyche gets a positive charge, and that can help us lighten up. Finding ways to brighten our lives is something all of us can get better at. Don't fool yourself: everyone (even Oprah) goes through difficult times. Those of us who are practiced at it have learned to celebrate the small victories.
Finding those tiny bright spots may not seem like much, but give it a try and be open to being lifted out of your pit. It can only happen one step at a time.
(Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a marriage and family therapist in Westlake Village, Calif. His most recent book is "Emotional Fitness for Intimacy." E-mail him at Barton(at)BartonGoldsmith.com.)
EMOTIONAL FITNESS
