ShareThisSo it's finally happened -- the ax has fallen, the parking pass has been rescinded, the pink slip has found its long, circuitous way via interoffice mail.
Welcome to the growing ranks of the newly unemployed.
Looking for work in the era of high-speed and WiFi is a world removed from the want ads of old. Even the much-touted and heavily advertised job Web sites have proved themselves to be bottomless black holes from which resumes never return.
These days, if you're looking to get back in the work force, you'd better be looking at Craigslist.
Founded in 1995 by San Francisco entrepreneur Craig Newmark, Craigslist can rightfully be called the true newspaper killer. By offering job listings, auto classifieds, personals and a dozen other features for free, it has eaten away at newsprint's most lucrative pages.
If you've recently been fired from a newspaper, this is your loss. But if you're looking for work regardless, it's your gain. That is, if you know how to use the list.
Nearly all Craigslist job listings can be lumped into one of four categories: sales positions, IT positions, executive positions and restaurant positions. Knowing what to expect with each listing is paramount.
First, the sales positions. In a cruel twist of irony that only a true sales professional could appreciate, the listings are often used by salespeople to sell you things. This is especially true of any sales position promising six-figure commissions.
The genuine sales positions are either customer service (answering phones) or telemarketing (making phone calls). Such positions are readily identified by the suggestion that you will "Be Your Own Boss." You will not be your own boss, and there is the very real possibility that you will spend your day answering the phone calls of telemarketers in a horrible phone-marketing loop.
Next, the IT positions. Postings for IT positions often contain a great deal of technical jargon to appeal to IT professionals. Postings rarely include actual job responsibilities, and any responsibilities listed are suspect. All IT postings are requests for free Web site design, with vague promises of payment at a later date. These promises are also suspect.
All executive positions are fake. No one hires executives on Craigslist. Many executives get scammed on Craigslist. There are no human-resources departments in Nigeria seeking marketing executives. Your credit-card number should not be a part of your resume.
This leaves the restaurant positions. These positions are shining beacons of truth in a sea of Craigslist scams. They are very real, they will result in immediate phone or e-mail contact, and they will pay minimum wage. It does not matter if you are a seasoned phone-marketing executive with West African financial experience -- a busboy earns a busboy wage.
So as you navigate this strange new world of links, lead-ons and outright lies, remember that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. And only Craig himself gets to be his own boss.
(Ben Grabow writes for the young, the urban and the easily amused. Contact him at thinlyread(at)gmail.com.)
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.scrippsnews.com)
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