ShareThisWelcome back, Charles Barkley. Here's hoping that any lessons you learned from your DUI and resulting suspension from your TNT NBA analyst duties bring about a boost from one sector of our flailing economy. Cab drivers have got to be hurting these days.
I heard you apologize Thursday night, and thought you handled yourself well. Most of all, I think we can all agree, it's great that you didn't get hurt or hurt someone else. You said as much yourself.
As you apologized, you said you didn't know what else you can do. Well, keep talking. It's what you do best. Even when you're annoying, you're fascinating.
So why not make a comedy bit out of calling a cab after a night out? Because let's face it, as much as people say you're an every-man kind of guy, you're not. You can go drinking, leave your expensive car in an expensive parking lot overnight, take a cab or limo to four more destinations and then hire one to take you back to your car in the morning.
You could also, in theory at least, take public transit.
Now, that would be a real comedy bit. It could be a whole reality TV show. Not for most people. But you're Charles Barkley. A camera could follow you around the produce section of a supermarket and turn it into a sitcom.
I realize that in the Phoenix metro area, where you got busted, the show could get pretty bleak. I've waited for a bus there. I had to give up.
But maybe a big-time, regular-guy celebrity going car-less, even temporarily, and joking about it on national TV would make a case for better transit. You'd be a hero.
Trust me, people will give you credit for being environmentally conscious, even if that's not your goal. You could also get healthier from all the exercise.
But if that's too much, just tip the cabbie well. We'll still think of you as a regular guy -- with a fat wallet.
(E-mail Gwen Knapp at gknapp@sfchronicle.com.)
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)
columnMust credit the San Francisco Chronicle
