ShareThisThanks for coming. I will take a few questions about embattled New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez. Please, no follow-up questions, flash photography or duck calls.
-- Question: Why should we believe A-Rod is sincere in his apology, because he was forced into it?
-- Answer: Exact number of athletes who have confessed, other than when backed into a corner and poked with a sharp stick: Zero. You want sincerity? That would be, "I'm truly sorry I got caught." Why do we expect guys who have been lying for years to be good at sincerity?
-- Q: But Rodriguez lied to Katie Couric. Isn't that a crime against humanity?
-- A: For that, he will have to answer to a higher power. Bob Costas, maybe.
-- Q: Rodriguez's teammates call him "A-Fraud.'' Is it possible he's simply a bad guy?
-- A: These "teammates" provide no specifics, such as, "Alex showed up drunk at my 5-year-old son's birthday party and busted the piñata with a corked bat." Lacking any charges with substance, let's write it off as high school pettiness. He's, like, so stuck up! Flawed personality? Possibly. Blooming serial killer? Probably not.
-- Q: Overkill by ESPN and the New York media?
-- A: Just right. I thought Bob Ley's interview with the Pope was insightful.
-- Q: Bud Selig says the A-Rod story broke his heart.
-- A: While Bud is getting his heart repaired (steroids can speed recovery), he should have doctors look at his memory -- the part that makes him forget when it was he became aware of steroids as a problem in baseball.
-- Q: Was A-Rod forthcoming about what he used?
-- A: I just want to know what he uses on his hair. So shiny! Everything else now is TMI.
(E-mail Scott Ostler at sostler@sfchronicle.com.)
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)
columnMust credit the San Francisco Chronicle
