ShareThisI'm in the news industry, not the charity business, but recent events have so touched my heart that I am launching a new relief effort, and this newspaper has been kind enough to print my brochure:
It's easy in these difficult times to feel we can't afford to help those facing financial desperation, but for a small sacrifice, you can make a big difference.
Please consider sponsoring a CEO as part of our new nonprofit agency, Wall Street Relief.
As you know, CEOs who take bailout money now face having their compensation capped. That means making ends meet on a mere $500,000 a year. These folks are not just statistics. They are real people.
People like Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis, who earned over $16 million in 2007. Since BofA received $40 billion in bailout money, Ken's future salary will plummet. He needs you.
So does Vikram Pandit, head of Citigroup, which got $45 billion in federal money. His 2007 pay package was estimated to be over $5 million. Can we stand by while his pay is cut to a tenth of that?
There are more. The Wall Street Journal studied 10 banks that collectively got $161 billion in bailout money. Their CEOs, combined, earned $200 million in 2007. Citigroup alone recently gave $4 billion in bonuses to managers who helped the company lose $16 billion. The new White House proposals mean those bonuses will likely go away.
Unless folks like you become sponsors.
If you don't, these executives will soon be making only $100,000 more than the president of the United States. It is hard to overestimate the shame that will cause in the locker rooms of private country clubs. As one executive headhunter told The New York Times: "$500,000 is not a lot of money, particularly if there is no bonus."
And keep in mind, the $500,000 cap is not the only source of pain for these souls. They will also face scrutiny for corporate-jet use, fancy office makeovers and flamboyant retreats. In one heartrending example, Wells Fargo Bank, which got a $25 billion federal rescue, just canceled a luxury vacation for senior staff in Las Vegas.
By now, you are no doubt asking: "How can I help?"
That's where Wall Street Relief comes in. Through us, you can personally sponsor a compensation-capped executive.
I'm sure you have questions. Let's get to them.
How much will sponsorship cost me? For a mere $1 million a month, you can help a CEO meet his daily needs. And your donations will be the start of a special relationship. Wall Street Relief will arrange for your CEO to write monthly letters on how he or she is doing as your payments help them help themselves. We will also send personal photographs to show how you are lifting their families up, perhaps with images of wives able to resume shopping at Hermes or Prada, and 16-year-olds with learner's permits driving new $79,000 Dodge Vipers, gift from Dad -- and from you.
May I send personal gifts to my CEO? We understand many sponsors feel a trinket will increase the bond between the two of you, but part of our job is to sensitize you to the culture of our executives, and traditionally, store-bought gifts mean little to them. They want cash.
Will my monthly pledge be reduced if my CEO's other investments begin to pay off? Please keep in mind that for years our executives have received outsized pay packages regardless of need or performance, so do count on maintaining your pledges even if your CEO comes into money from other sources. He or she will expect it of you.
How will my sponsored CEO use my $1 million a month? Very similar to the way comparable programs target money for sponsored children in the Third World: (1) Health care: Visits to Canyon Ranch. (2) Nutrition: Ruth's Chris Steak House. (3) Education: Princeton or Stanford. (4) Shelter: Second homes through our partner, Sotheby's Real Estate.
Is it possible to visit my sponsored CEO? Yes, please do! Visits are always welcome. However, they may have to take place in the parking lots of your CEO's private clubs, as guest policies don't always allow non-members on the premises. Please check in with the valet, and try to avoid arriving at tee time.
Wall Street Relief is concerned the new compensation caps could begin any day now. If so, we are looking at a unique American entitlement culture that could be lost. No more $1.2 million office makeovers. No more private jets flown to Washington to pick up bailout money. No more indulgent retreats for managerial teams after staggering drops in shareholder value. No more $10 million bonuses for losing $15 billion the previous quarter. All of that will be gone.
Unless you help us help a CEO today.
Perhaps you can't save every salary-capped Wall Street executive.
But you can save one.
Operators are standing by.
(mpatinkin(at)projo.com.)
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)
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