What's not to love about a film with a catchy title like "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"? Ahem ... cue the critics.
"Kevin James' innate likability goes to waste," laments the Associated Press. Variety dubs it "an almost shockingly amateurish one-note-joke comedy." The nicest review so far? Entertainment Weekly calls it "a gentle comedy of suburban underachievement."
OK, so it's no "Gunga Din." At least the subject matter is something most of us can relate to. Malls are as much a part of America's comfy pop-culture history as beanbag chairs, lava lamps and bologna 'n' cheese on Wonder Bread with the crusts cut off.
So while we reserve judgment on "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" until we check it out ourselves, here are the top five mall-centric flicks from the 1980s -- the "mall decade" -- to celebrate:
5. BACK TO THE FUTURE (1985): Lest you forget that Marty McFly's journey back in time begins at the Twin Pines Mall and ends at the Lone Pine Mall. Brilliant!
4. VALLEY GIRL (1983): Released at the height of the "Val-talk" phenomenon, the flick opens at the Sherman Oaks Galleria -- the second-most-famous mall of the '80s. It's also the site of Randy and Julie's big romance montage, coolly set to Modern English's "Melt With You."
3. THE BLUES BROTHERS (1980): Director John Landis rented the Dixie Square Mall in Harvey, Ill., for eight weeks so that John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd could destroy parts of the interior in their beloved Bluesmobile.
2. BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE (1989): Joan of Arc, Beethoven, Genghis Khan and other figures of history aren't appreciated by mall cops either. Luckily, they can lay the blame on Sigmund Freud. "Geek!"
1. FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (1982): A wistful tear rolls from my eye as I recall those cuties serving up slices (and phone numbers) at Perry's Pizza, that sleazy "audio consultant" at Pacific Stereo and the jerks who serve ketchup and mayonnaise as the "secret sauce" at Bronco Burger. Sorry, Galleria, but Ridgemont Mall will always remain tops on this list.
Honorable mention:
1984's "Night of the Comet." Nothing's more fun than dancing to Cyndi Lauper around a mall emptied by the sudden death -- or zombification -- of civilization. Now that's the '80s!
(E-mail Steve Spears at stuckinthe80s(at)tampabay.com.)
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service www.scrippsnews.com)
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