ShareThisThoughts at large:
-- Does it mean I'm getting old that one of my generation's sex symbols, Raquel Welch, is now modeling magnifier reading glasses?
-- Make fun of it all you want, but as a fellow 50-something, I for one am jealous of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich's hair.
-- So the judge at first put a 7 p.m. curfew on Bernard Madoff. Pretty harsh for a 70-year-old guy who reportedly didn't go out much anyway.
-- He's lucky he didn't lose $100 billion or he might have had curfew set for 4 p.m. and missed the Early Bird specials in Boca.
-- Are there any women left who don't have a tattoo above their rear end?
-- I still can't accept Budweiser being Belgian. Next they're going to tell me Ben and Jerry's is foreign-owned, too.
-- It is?
-- There is already an online video game where you try to hit a ducking George W. Bush with a shoe.
-- Memo to high-school seniors: I know you're all trying to get into the same 30 prestige colleges, but did you know there are 1,970 other great schools out there?
-- As for the women in those "Real Housewives" shows, do they go out of their way to pick ones who are easy to hate?
-- Didn't the mothers of NFL players teach them you shouldn't wear short sleeves in snowstorms?
-- The New York Times' Alessandra Stanley is right: Greed scandals have replaced sex scandals.
-- My son recently came downstairs with slit eyes and a gravelly voice saying he was too sick to go to school, and was so convincing I am adding Yale Drama to his college list.
-- I don't trust pop-ups offering software to block pop-ups.
-- Call me a cynic, but I think this Duggar mom and dad -- who recently had their 18th child, giving all of them names starting with "J" -- are kind of weird.
-- The main reason my sons envy Barack Obama is they think by now he's gotten the CIA briefing on what the aliens looked like who landed at Roswell.
-- When I'm emperor, there will be special trophies for parents who freeze for two hours watching high-school games their kids never get to play in.
-- Thirty-five years after "The Exorcist" I still can't eat split-pea soup.
-- In the history of the world, has there ever been a woman who, when asked how much cake she wants, has said anything other than, "Just a sliver"?
-- Does anyone smoke a pipe anymore?
-- If we can land a man on the moon, can't we design low-energy light bulbs that don't hum and flicker in dimmer fixtures?
And finally:
-- A reader passes along some timeless advice for husbands: "You can be right or you can be happy."
(mpatinkin(at)projo.com)
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)
Must credit The Providence JournalColumn
