Steven Seagal's movies may be going straight to video, but he's the Hollywood tagline king. In fact, he may be the greatest producer of taglines in movie history.
We suspect that Seagal is writing these himself, and possibly getting paid by the word ... (or possibly by the ellipsis). Below are some career highlights. They're a lot more fun if you read them in the style of the recently departed movie-trailer voice Don LaFontaine.
"Above the Law" (1988): "He was a covert agent trained in Vietnam. He has a master 6th-degree black belt in Aikido ... and family in the Mafia. He's a cop with an attitude."
"Hard to Kill" (1989): "The star of 'Above the Law' is back. Now ... Steven Seagal is hard to kill."
"Marked for Death" (1990): "In 'Above the Law' he got tough; In 'Hard to Kill' he got even; Now the man with the short fuse is ... marked for death."
"On Deadly Ground" (1994): "His battle to save the Alaskan wilderness and protect its people can only be won ... on deadly ground."
"Under Siege 2: Dark Territory" (1995): "A top-secret nuclear satellite. A team of international terrorists. A government held hostage. An undetectable moving headquarters. Only one hero stands in the way."
"Into the Sun" (2005): "Only one man can stop the Yakuza."
"Shadow Man" (2006): "Either you're with him ... or you're dead."
Source: imdb.com
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)
Must credit the San Francisco ChronicleSidebar to TAGLINES-FILM


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