ShareThisDEAR DR. FOURNIER: I've been saving your columns as resources for when my sons start school. What do you offer parents that will help prepare children for school? I wish I would have known about your columns when I was a fifth-grade teacher.
ASSESSMENT: I'm assuming you have been around your children during the day and observed them closely. One son may watch television programs, such as "Sesame Street," that are aimed at children. The other may pull out Legos and play for a while. Becoming bored, this son may stop in the middle of building something and go to his room for other toys. He may even yell out for you to come see something in his room. The other son may hop up in the middle of his show and go to the bathroom, without approval or permission, or head for the kitchen to get a snack or even ask for his lunch outside of the "normal" lunch hour. Why? Because you use my "Live Like a Family" rules at home regarding these activities.
First, let your children be children for as long as they can be. School comes soon enough, and once they enter, they will be slammed with the outdated teachings of our agricultural- and industrial-era school system along with the pushed-down acceleration of data, which is developmentally inappropriate and, for too many children, damaging.
WHAT TO DO: Many parents use my "Red Light/Green Light" strategy to explain my "Live Like a Student" rules to children. Have a pretend school day in your home once or twice a week to begin showing them how school will be different from home because of school rules.
As you have these dress rehearsals for school, call out "red light" when your child does not follow a "Rule of School" and have him explain the rule so you are confident he understands it. If he does, call out "green light" and resume "play" school. Soon, your children will become used to school rules they will have to abide by.
For example, explain they cannot jump up in school any time they want and run to the bathroom. Explain they must raise their hands, be recognized and receive permission. Likewise, explain they cannot simply shout out in class as they are allowed to do at home and that they cannot stop doing something simply because they become bored with it.
Purchase a backpack, notebook and pencils. As their pretend teacher, give them a "class" assignment. Have them use the pencils and paper, even if only to draw. Explain to your sons that they will be bringing schoolwork home for you to review and sign, as well as homework they will have to complete at home.
Show them how to place their papers and pencils in their backpacks in a neat and arranged fashion. This teaches organizational skills. Have your sons place their backpacks in the same location each day after they are packed and ready for school, then explain to them that mornings will be hectic and they will need to have everything in one place, ready to go as soon as they are dressed and have finished breakfast.
Explain to them that rules, at home or school, are to keep them safe. Make sure you add my "When Kids Get Home Rule of School" for your children. The first thing they do the minute they get home is seek out Mom, give her a hug and say, "Hi, Mom, I'm home from school and I can't wait to finish my homework so I can stop being a student and be your son again!"
The moment they are finished and everything for the next day is in the same place, announce that they are now free to do other things -- celebrating the rest of the day.
(Write Dr. Yvonne Fournier, Fournier Learning Strategies Inc., 5900 Poplar, Memphis, Tenn. 38119. E-mail her at drfournier(at)hfhw.net.)
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