ShareThisThe Japanese philosophy of kaizen emphasizes that life gets better a little bit at a time. Progress is made in small, seemingly insignificant increments. This outlook can help anyone. It is a tried-and-true way of thinking that can assist those who are dealing with almost any difficulty. It also can be very useful when reaching for a goal.
Dealing with a serious situation can be overwhelming. You may not know where to turn or what to do. Taking very small steps helps you to keep forging ahead and gives you a sense that you are doing something positive. That knowledge can make the difference between getting through your issues or suffering with them for a lifetime.
For someone who is depressed, getting out of bed and going for a short walk may be monumentally challenging. Rather than focusing on this task, you can instead take the small steps of getting up and putting on your sneakers. This is a great starting place. The next day you can take a step out the front door, and each day thereafter go a little farther. These small steps add up quickly, and before you know it, you are walking five miles a day, and the regular exercise will help dissipate your sadness.
Most of the changes people make are not big ones. I usually suggest to clients that instead of trying to make huge alterations in their lives, they instead find something small that needs adjusting and to work on that first.
If you feel distant from your partner, try holding hands. If you're not happy at work, look for one small thing that can make you feel better about what you do or whom you do it with. Perhaps taking a "mental-health day" will get your head in the right place. Then you can start to make other small, progressive adjustments on a daily basis. You will be astonished at how quickly the changes add up and help you make positive and permanent shifts.
One of the better books on this subject is "The Kaizen Way" by UCLA professor Robert Maurer. One of the most poignant statements he makes is that "while the steps may be small, what we're reaching for is not." For those dealing with huge life transitions, it's a reminder of how important it is to do something, even a very little something, each and every day to help you out of the pit or to achieve your dream.
With a little time and the goal of making very small improvements on a regular basis, you can heal your pain, reach your goals and even make the world a better place. Give it a try; you'll be amazed at how quickly your life will become wonderful.
(Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a marriage and family therapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author of "Emotional Fitness for Couples."E-mail him at Barton(at)BartonGoldsmith.com)
EMOTIONAL FITNESS
