Thanksgiving is all about the side dish

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Thanksgiving is here again, and in time-honored newspaper tradition, it is my duty to force upon you the "reason for the season." And while there are many reasons for this season, from giving thanks to gathering family, only one reigns supreme.The side dish.See, you were thinking I'd say turkey. But you know, in your heart of hearts, way down in your very giblets, that this is not true. Nobody looks forward to the turkey. Indeed, in my wife's family, a spare turkey is purchased expressly for sport.That's right, they buy a frozen turkey every year just to toss in the yard. Whoever chucks the gobbler the greatest distance gets bragging rights.Nobody would throw macaroni and cheese around on the lawn. For one, it'd be a difficult event to judge, but mostly it's because, hey, we're going to eat that. Put that back. And wash your hands, you're getting cheese everywhere.Of course, someone's going to argue that Thanksgiving is all about dessert. And I'll concede that if pie had its own month, it would certainly be November. But you don't have to have Thanksgiving for pie. You can have pie any time. Seriously, this is my official blessing. Go have some pie.The side dish, too, exists year-round, usually in the form of accessory vegetables meant to frame the meat. But Thanksgiving is the time for the side dish to shine, in spite of the meat. Because nobody really wants to eat the turkey.The turkey seems to get all the attention. It is well-trussed and massaged in herbs and citrus, stuffed with a savory dressing, carefully tended through the afternoon and basted in its own juices, roasted to the perfect temperature and delivered proudly to the table, whereupon it is carved and pieced out to family members, who anxiously bring the first still-steaming bite to their lips only to find that it still tastes exactly like every other turkey they've ever had.Consider, if you will, the fully loaded Thanksgiving Day dinner plate.You've got a couple pieces of the same bland, dried-out turkey breast, smothered in enough gravy to pass an economic stimulus package. There's a big heap of Aunt Nancy's dressing, next to Aunt Libby's dressing, between servings of Aunt Jenny's relish and Uncle Max's sweet potatoes. Cousin Sarah's deviled eggs hang precariously on the edge of the plate.The prime real estate belongs to your favorite side dish, made especially for you every year, even if you have to make it yourself. In the pie chart that is your plate, turkey is lucky to be 20 percent. The remaining 80 is a heaping spoonful of every aunt, uncle, niece and nephew's contribution.Think about it -- without family, all you'd have is the main course. No mashed potatoes. No green-bean casserole. Just turkey. A frightening prospect.There is, of course, a lesson here. So this year, give thanks where thanks are due. Welcome family members with open oven mitts. For they are the bearers of the holiday's greatest gift: oyster dressing.See, you were thinking I'd say love. Now pass the dressing.(Ben Grabow writes for the young, the urban and the easily amused. Contact him at thinlyread(at)gmail.com.)(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.scrippsnews.com)