'Grease' is the word -- right? 'High School' crowd might disagree

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Are you a Pink Lady or a Wildcat? Should "Grease" or "High School Musical" be at the top of the class?So fresh, so innocent, the New Girl at a bustling high school -- stuffed with macho toughs, conniving vixens and 32-year-old seniors -- doffs her virginal shell and woos the cocky Boy of Her Dreams. They are America's Singing Sweethearts, inspiring summer crushes and clunky dance moves the world over.That's right, we're talking Sandy and Danny from "Grease."Unless you're under 14, in which case we're talking Troy and Gabs from "High School Musical."There's great passion for each cinematic franchise.Disney's "High School Musical 3: Senior Year" just opened, which means more songs to learn, more dance moves to memorize, more jokes to make about Ashley Tisdale's beak.This year also marks the 30th anniversary of "Grease" -- and, um, the 26th anniversary of "Grease 2."So we ask: Where would you rather go to school? "HSM's" East High or "Grease's" Rydell?When St. Petersburg Times staff writers Sean Daly and Stephanie Hayes were asked to defend their fave musical franchise, a slow boil turned into a flat-out slugfest, which turned into a totally awesome dance scene on a roller coaster!But then, Steph (pro-"Grease") and Sean (pro-"HSM") started fighting again. Pick a side, T-Birds and Wildcats, and let the debate begin.COUPLE"GREASE": Listen, Sean, Danny and Sandy are the archetype for all that is awesome. Smoking hot, limber, dentally endowed. And they teach us valuable life lessons: Wear inappropriate stretch pants and get your man! What's more American?"HSM": Oh, come on, Stephanie. Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta were 57 years old when they made "Grease"! I got more turned on watching my parents kiss. At least Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens look like moony, fresh-faced high-schoolers ... or at least the moony, fresh-faced high-schoolers who called me Capt. Fatpants in 10th grade.BAD GIRL"GREASE": Sean, I hardly know where to start. There's Rizzo, who swills booze, showers cold and skips Aunt Flo. There's Marty, who makes naughty with Vince Fontaine. There's Cha Cha, who looks like a T-Pain video extra. Even Twinkie fan Jan hooks up! Whatchu got, Daly? Did your girls drink Coke past 7 p.m.? Sneak into "Beverly Hills Chihuahua"?"HSM": Hey Steph, I'll admit that Cha Cha and her supergams helped usher me to the door of manhood ... or at least my dad's Playboy collection. But Ashley Tisdale's bratastic Sharpay -- so vainglorious, so vengeful, so totally 21st-century Veruca Salt -- is the most brilliantly realized character in either movie. Seriously, Tisdale is a comedic wonder, with or without that disastrously reconfigured honker.SIDEKICK WITH TREMENDOUS HAIR"GREASE": A hickey from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card ... from a guy with super-sexy, gravity-defying hair!"HSM": Corbin Bleu's voluminous Chad shag is like something pulled out of Jim Henson's nightstand. And that's a compliment. Fraggle Rock, yo!CAR"GREASE": Greased Lightning! It got KNIFED by Lorenzo Lamas' evilmobile, and it STILL won the race. How's that golf cart holding up, Troy? Ha, ha, Sean, your movie stinks!"HSM": Gimme a break, Steph, the kid's 16. What's he supposed to drive? I bet you were a wallflowery nerd in high school, weren't you, Steph? That's why you're so angry now. Man, I hate you and your totally rockin' movie.DANCE NUMBER"GREASE": "Born to Hand Jive" is the ultimate dance bonanza, Sean. There's competition, romance, jealousy, glaringly misplaced disco moves. And who among us hasn't been forced to wag thumbs at some tragic eighth-grade chorus concert? It endures."HSM": Yeah, Steph, but it doesn't top the basketball number for "HSM's" "Get'cha Head in the Game," a hip-thrusting beatdown of Spaulding squeaks and sweaty youth. You know why you never saw Fred Astaire singing, dancing and pulling off hot Globetrotters action? 'Cause he wasn't Zac Efron, baby! Down goes "Grease"! Down goes "Grease"!BEST SONG"GREASE": Nothing feels better than hitting the open bar at a wedding reception, plugging your nose and wailing, "Those su-huuuu-mer niiiiiiiiiiiiights!" I think people play "High School Musical" songs at weddings, too, in certain states where the legal marriage age is fuzzy. Cheers, Sean!"HSM": You want the power of song? Sharpay's "Fabulous" from "HSM2" has single-handedly turned a nation of little girls into vicious materialistic demonettes intent on ruling the globe in bikinis and heels. This includes my daughter, whose repetition of Sharpay's "I want more!" slogan -- followed by tears and hate -- is repeatedly shrieked from the backseat. So you see, Steph? Fabulous, um, rocks.WORST SONG"GREASE": It's a little awkward watching Danny wail "Sandy" in misery at the drive-in after she gives him the chilly brush-off. Buck up, buddy! She'll turn fast and loose and ciggy when the big school carnival rolls around!"HSM": What's the number in "HSM2" where Troy frolics around the 18th hole like Brian Boitano without the switchblade edge?FANS"GREASE": It's one of the most popular musicals in history, the go-to for community playhouses everywhere! DVDs fly off shelves and songs wail from iPods! Adults can sit through it without gouging their brains with a melon baller! You want to get down and grovel now, or should we wait until more people are around to watch, huh, Fatpants?"HSM": This is like high school all over again, Steph. Just leave me alone, OK? I'm not fat. I'm just big-boned! Big-boned!(Sean Daly can be reached at sdaly(at)sptimes.com. Stephanie Hayes can be reached at shays(at)sptimes.com.)(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service www.scrippsnews.com)