ShareThisHello and welcome to Columnists Afield, a semiannual hunting special. I'm your host, and this is a large and heavy shotgun. You've been warned.In this, our first installation, we will track a not-so-rare or elusive game bird native to gun clubs and skeet fields throughout the United States. In the process, we will try not to shoot ourselves, any bystanders or the car that got us here.Known for its distinctive blaze-orange markings, today's quarry is relatively easy to hunt with a proper reproduction of its mating call. Simply fold your lips inward, exhale sharply and bring your tongue to the roof of your mouth. The result, a well-intoned "pull," is irresistible to virtually all species of Clay Pigeon.The Clay Pigeon is excellent game for the beginning shooter, as it is always in season, there is no bag limit and a retrieving dog is not necessary (or recommended). The Clay Pigeon is not endangered by any means, regardless of the inherent stupidity in showing up every time someone calls.It should be noted that the Clay Pigeon is literally composed of a dirt and petroleum "clay" and is not very tasty, even when deep-fried.The Clay Pigeon is generally limited to two distinct species: Skeet and Trap, each with its own habitat or "field." The Skeet field has unique rules, as does the Trap field. The rules are specific and complex, though, generally, yelling "pull" in either field will yield a Clay Pigeon. In fact, yelling "pull" in the parking lot may scare up a bird or two.The Skeet variety favors a sharp lateral trajectory. This requires the hunter to swing a loaded weapon back and forth very quickly. We will, for this reason, leave the Skeet Pigeon to those who do not compose paragraphs for a living.The Trap Pigeon, likewise, employs some lateral flight but is slightly more intelligent than its Skeet sister, in that it will attempt simply to fly away. However, much like the common turkey (or the less-hunted chicken), Clay Pigeons have a limited flight range. And unlike the common turkey or chicken, Clay Pigeons are unable to land without shattering into pieces. It's not easy to be a Clay Pigeon.As in any hunting enterprise, all aspects of gun safety must be recognized. All guns are assumed to be loaded. A gun is never pointed at anything one does not intend to kill. A fixed-action shotgun produces substantial recoil, and you cannot switch arms because you need the other one to write. And, of course, there's no crying in trap shooting.A full day may be spent in the enterprise of Clay Pigeon hunting, at least until your shoulder and ego are sufficiently bruised. In the rare event that you nick, wing or possibly alter the flight of a Clay Pigeon, it is not advisable to go after your prey. Field owners will be happy to provide you with a souvenir pigeon to show your family.In closing, if the pen is mightier than the sword, a writer should not handle a firearm. Tune in next time, when we discuss Clay Pigeon taxidermy -- all you'll require is a tube of superglue, a half-dozen uninterrupted hours and a very understanding spouse.(Ben Grabow writes for the young, the urban and the easily amused. Contact him at thinlyread(at)gmail.com.)
A hunting adventure
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