I'm beginning to get the 'old' attitude

ShareThis

One of the surest signs of approaching age is the desire to wake up early. Unfortunately, as my aching joints often demonstrate, desire and ability are two very different things.My joints and I have come to a point where we are beyond "all grown up" and have begun the journey to "old." I am, of course, not really old. I am many long depressing decades from retirement. But I'm beginning to get the attitude.I don't like to stay out late. I don't really know what the kids are listening to these days. I would prefer that people stay off my lawn. And I would really like to wake up early.Unfortunately, though I am mentally prepared for the early mornings enjoyed by Elks Club denizens and their ilk, my biology is not quite there yet. My body and its internal rhythms are still set to "college," fully prepared to drink cheap beer until closing and sleep through the following afternoon.Before college, early mornings are essentially mandated by the state. In order to arrive at high school at the ungodly hour of 7 a.m., a very loud alarm must be set for 6 or earlier. Often enough, three or four classes go by before complete coherence arrives. Teen-agers are not designed to function before 9 a.m., and even then they are awake only for the promise of lunch in three hours.Ostensibly, this sleep deprivation is intended to prepare us for the working day. In reality, the hardest thing about my first real job was staying in one place from 8 to 5. With the crutch of coffee I was awake, but constantly waiting for a bell to tell me I could leave.In all this time it still takes a pot of dark roast before I am coherent enough to deal with a commute, let alone a conference call. I am still not designed to function before 9 a.m., and I wake now only for the promise of caffeine.This is not to say that an early morning is impossible. I am capable of forcing myself from bed before the sun sheds its glory on my suburban surroundings. Often enough, I am very happy that I've sloughed off the sheets to meet the dawning day and all it offers. It is not until just after lunch that I curse my stupidity. And it's not really cursing so much as quiet sleep-deprived mumbling.To wake early is to have two or three hours of the day entirely to oneself. For the erstwhile athlete, this is an hour outside with just you and the road, not a car or school bus to be found. For the working stiff, this is a good two hours of concentration and focus before the phone starts ringing and the e-mails roll in. For a parent, this is likely the only two hours of sanity in a day.For me, it is all of this along with two hours of heavy-lidded stupor in the afternoon. And, it occurs to me, perhaps no one ever really gets used to it. Maybe it's the truly mature adults who realize that those two golden hours in the morning are more important than a fully lucid afternoon.It's a curious thought. I must be getting old.(Ben Grabow writes for the young, the urban and the easily amused. Contact him at thinlyread(at)gmail.com.)(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.scrippsnews.com)