College students need guidance for meeting the world

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DEAR DR. FOURNIER: My daughter is headed for college in another state, yet I look at her and cannot believe she is ready to go away. She will come and visit on vacations, but if she is anything like many other children we know, once out of college she will want to continue to live on her own. I will find a way to let go with the understanding that she knows I love her and am always there for her. Is this what people call "empty nest"? I've read your column and wonder what advice do I give my baby as she leaves the nest.ASSESSMENT: I have been asked this question many times and have usually offered this advice: Tell her to make wise decisions -- ones that honor the values of her upbringing.This year, however, I have changed my response. Children must prepare diligently to be successful in a global economy and cannot "blow" one second of school or college. Previous generations went to college believing a degree was the last leg of a journey to adulthood and independence. They went believing that a degree guaranteed a good job, one in which they'd get annual promotions and pay increases. Then the global economy came along and a college degree is not enough anymore to keep pace with China and India and other nations' superior students.Your daughter is still an adolescent, so remind her of this. Demographics have redefined the transition from adolescence to adulthood from 18 to 25 because it takes that long for those who go to college to get the education and experience needed to become adequate income earners to which they aspire.The best advice I can give you is to understand that your daughter is still an adolescent and needs "global" advice.WHAT TO DO: Have your daughter learn the following:-- College is the preschool to a specialization. Specialization now happens in graduate school. Here's the metaphor: College is time spent taking the stone out of the ground and graduate school is where she sculpts it into something unique. She will leave graduate school knowing how to continuously meet the world's professional and jobs needs, all of which are changing at warp speed.-- Many students go to college with the outdated belief that being in college is adulthood and a degree will result in economic freedom. Consider the many newly minted college grads who "boomerang" and move back in with Mom and Dad because they can't afford to live on their own.Degrees and overall grade point averages are no longer the only thing grad schools and employers review. They look at details and transcripts laden with class withdrawals and "retaken" courses because of too much partying or other excuses and thus reject candidates for grad-school admissions or jobs.This generation had better realize that grad-school-admission counselors and employers are searching for people with proven and impressive academic records. They are also looking for people with perseverance and ones who can lay claim to unique sets of skills desired by the global economy.Your child is as close now to being dependent on you as she was in high school. Advise her that she has not yet earned adulthood rights and that failures could return her to the nest longer than she ever dreamed possible.(Write Dr. Yvonne Fournier, Fournier Learning Strategies Inc., 5900 Poplar, Memphis, Tenn. 38119. E-mail her at drfournier(at)hfhw.net)