Men at risk

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According to Genesis, God made woman by borrowing Adam's rib. A new book contends that women, in an attempt to gain equality between the sexes, have stolen men's spines.In "Save the Males: Why Men Matter, Why Women Should Care," conservative commentator Kathleen Parker complains that, over the past 30 years, we have created "a culture that is hostile toward males, contemptuous of masculinity and cynical about the delightful differences that make men irresistible."In film and music, men are variously portrayed as dolts, bullies, brutes, deadbeats, rapists, sexual predators and wife-beaters." In sitcoms, family men "are invariably cast, at best, as bumbling, dim-witted fools."Parker, who has raised three boys and was a Cub Scout den mother, acknowledges herself to be "an unlikely champion of males." Her mother died when she was 3 years old. Her father, who married four more times, raised her. Of life with father and a series of stepmothers, she concedes, "We were dysfunctional before dysfunctional was cool."She warns that ridiculing men leads to shrinking the importance of fatherhood. At the same time, "by elevating single-motherhood from an unfortunate consequence of poor planning to a sophisticated act of self-fulfillment, we have helped to fashion a world in which fathers are not just scarce but in which men are superfluous."Having interviewed children of anonymous sperm donors, Parker underscores how important they feel it is to find their biological fathers. A doctoral student at Cambridge, now in his 20s, confessed, "It's absolutely necessary that I find out who he is to have a normal existence in any way. It would be nice if he wanted to meet me, but that would be something I want rather than something needed."When masculinity is not valued, Parker warns, there is little incentive for boys to grow up. "By indulging every appetite instead of recognizing the importance of self-control and commitment, ... young men encounter little resistance against continuing to celebrate juvenile pursuits, losing themselves in video games and mindless, 'guy-oriented' TV fare -- and casual sex.""As long as men feel marginalized by the women whose favors and approval they seek; as long as they are alienated from their children and treated as criminals by family courts; as long as they are disrespected by a culture that no longer values masculinity tied to honor; and as long as boys are bereft of strong fathers and our young men and women wage sexual war, then we risk cultural suicide."India's Prime Minister Indira Gandhi observed that "men are no more liberated than women." Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir said, "Whether women are better than men I cannot say, but I can say they are certainly no worse."Don't give Adam's rib back to him. But let men regain strong spines. Men and women alike need to be liberated.(David Yount's "Growing in Faith: A Guide for the Reluctant Christian" (Seabury) is available in a new paperback edition. He answers readers at P.O. Box 2758, Woodbridge, VA 22195 and dyount(at)erols.com.)