Admit it: We love cheese. Not those deep-fried things at the State Fair or something with a foreign name served with wine. I'm talking cheesy entertainment. "Dancing With the Stars," B-movies, Wayne Newton -- you name it. At the top of the cheesy pop list is ABBA, whose music fuels the Meryl Streep film "Mamma Mia!," just opening. Here is a look at a baker's dozen of pop cheese -- and why we love them.1. ABBAAs efficiently constructed as vehicles from the Volvo assembly line, the Swedish quartet's frothy tunes were crafted to be insidiously catchy and to induce even people with two left feet to dance with delight.2. THE B-52SBeehive hairdos, cheap keyboards, new-wave minimalism and a friendly frontman who can't really sing (but he's a fun-inducing cheerleader) make them an unstoppable party band.3. THE BEE GEESDespite the beautiful brotherly harmonies, Barry Gibb's quivering lead voice sounded like he was starting a joke. And that was even before they went disco, the ultimate cheesy move.4. THE CARPENTERSOne of their hits ("We've Only Just Begun") started out as a jingle for a bank, and all of their hits were soppily sentimental. But with her emotional alto, Karen Carpenter was a superstar.5. CHERWith or without Sonny, she has packaged cheese more ways than Kraft: "Half Breed," the video for "If I Could Turn Back Time," the bagel boy, the wig for the "Believe" video, etc.6. TOM JONESThe oldest male striptease artist who never has to shed his clothes, Sir Tom delivers "Kiss" and "What's New, Pussycat?" with bug-eyed irony as women toss undergarments at his feet. We laugh with him and at him.7. DOLLY PARTONThere were some true country classics in her early repertoire, but her cartoonish look, fluttering voice and pop hits have walked the line between camp and cheesy.8. BRITNEY SPEARS" ... Baby One More Time" is one terrific single. She laughed at herself with "Oops! I Did It Again" and made us dance to "Toxic." We fell for her hard-luck story, but her tabloid life has become a steady diet of Velveeta.9. SPICE GIRLSSilly nicknames, smart pop tunes and a glitzy girl-power aura made us love these diverse British birds.10. ROD STEWARTWe thought he was a great rocker until he asked "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?" "Infatuation," his four collections of standards and his succession of young blondes have just added layers of cheesiness.11. VILLAGE PEOPLEWas it the kitschy costumes, the simple-as-nursery-rhyme songs or the fact that everyone from kindergartners to grandmas knows how to do the arm gestures for "YMCA"?12. BARRY WHITEWe couldn't get enough of the world's deepest voice, the Love Unlimited Orchestra's luxurious arrangements and Barry's pillow-talk lyrics.13. ZZ TOPThey've got long beards, hot rods and leggy chicks -- and they know how to use them.(Contact Jon Bream at jbream(at)startribune.com.)(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)
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