ShareThisHi, Jewel,Why do short guys keep asking me out?I am 18 and 5-feet-10 and I feel awkward dating guys shorter than that ... but they keep asking.I don't want to appear prejudiced, but the height thing is an issue for me.What should I say to shorter guys?-- LIKES THEM TALLDear L.T.T.,We can't control who is attracted to us. Similarly, it's difficult to control our own pangs of attraction. It's only when a mutual attraction sparks that chemistry ignites.You're well within your right to not succumb to the advances of every interested dude. Picking and choosing is part of the dating game. However, so is tact and human decency.Read: It's never cool to snub someone. That's a guaranteed recipe for self-esteem damage. Moreover, you don't want to earn a rep as a heartless gal.So, what should you do when you find yourself in such an awkward position? Simply tell your admirer that you're after a certain connection. When you feel it with this person you'll know. For now, you're happy just searching.You may also want to reassure this guy with a sentence or two that he'll find the perfect lid for his pot. Pay a sincere compliment, and leave it at that.If he follows you like a puppy, be firm in your decision. Don't cave. You'd only be welcoming even more knotty situations.Love, Jewel.Hey, Dave,How can you tell if you will be compatible with someone for the long term?I have this great girlfriend, but when I think about it, we don't have a lot in common. I love music, she doesn't; I love all kinds of sports, she doesn't ... and the list goes on. When we're together we have fun, but if we were together all the time I'm worried we'd run out of things to do and talk about.We're both 20 and the relationship is pretty serious. Should I be worried?-- COMPATIBILITY ISSUESDear COMPATIBILTY ISSUES,Sure you should be worried, because it sounds like there's not much connection between you two. Granted, sports and music tastes aren't bellwethers of a compatible relationship, but you have your doubts.And that says two things: You are thinking about breaking up, since you mentioned you're concerned you'd "run out of things to do." Second, I get the sense you're in a serious relationship you feel trapped in, which spells trouble.Talk to your girl about your future without mentioning breaking up. Find out if she's in the same boat as you, if she doesn't feel a powerful connection. You two might enjoy each other's company, but do you see it lasting a long time? Then again, at your age, some couples are together for other reasons than long-term compatibility -- companionship, intimacy, discovering sexuality, going dancing and so on.And if you decide to break up with her, be a man about it. Do it in person, in a secluded area -- and be gentle. Have a leaning shoulder for her to cry on, and listen how she responds.Good luck!(Got a hot question for our cool columnists? E-mail Jewel or Dave at submissions(at)ypp.net or check them out at www.ypp.net.)(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.scrippsnews.com)
Feels awkward dating short guys
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