The 4H's of happiness

I have come to the conclusion that, when it comes to finding happiness, I need to have four things in working order. Everyone's different, but here are my priorities. Perhaps they will help you discover and keep yours in order. I call them my 4H's.Health: I remember as a child my father's cigar-smoking buddy would say, in a smoker's throaty voice, "Kid, ya ain't got your health, ya ain't got nothing." At the time, it just seemed gross. Now, a few decades (and a couple of "procedures") later, I realize that though he didn't take his own advice, the guy was totally right. Being healthy and helping those you love do the same is one of the most important pieces of a joyful life.Honey(s): If she's not happy, I'm not happy. If the kids are hurting, then I'm hurting. If the loves of my life are not as bright as a cherry blossom in May, then I'd best be finding a way to make them so. I can't bear to see someone I love in a bad place, so I go to great lengths to make them grin. I've been known to juggle lemons in the produce section to elicit a smile or to sit for hours watching "I Love Lucy" reruns until they forget what's bothering them.Hound: OK, I've become a dog person. I'm not sure how it happened, but this little, unconditionally loving creature has added a chamber in my heart, and I feel more love in my life. Now, it's true that I have the "perfect" doggie, but there are others out there who will make you tilt your head in wonder when you think about how much love you get and feel for a canine companion. By the way, my very cool cat is on the program as well.Home: After years of living in a house, I've found that with a little TLC and the right partner, a home can appear from a mere pile of wood and carpet. Becoming sensitive to and saving the environment starts at home. It should be a place of serenity for you and your loved ones. When you achieve that goal -- and it doesn't matter how big the place is or what "area" you live in -- your home can become a place of peace and healing.If what floats your boat is different from other people's, so be it. We all have the right to put what we love in order of importance. Making a little list like this can help you keep your priorities on track. The trick is to not have too many needs and to make sure that those we do have get met appropriately.(Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a marriage and family therapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author of "Emotional Fitness for Couples." E-mail him at Barton(at)BartonGoldsmith.com)