Prepare children for a multiplicity of careers

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DEAR DR. FOURNIER: My son is passionate about basketball, and I sometimes wonder if he places too much emphasis on the sport. I support him and believe he is learning many good life skills such as hard work and dedication. Unfortunately, these qualities aren't transferring to other areas of his life. How can I get him to put forth the same effort in school? He would rather end up with poor grades than miss a single practice.ASSESSMENT: Our true passions motivate us in life, and there is no quicker way to stymie personal growth than to tell someone he can't reach for his dreams. Instead of steering your son away from his passion, channel this interest to open his eyes to the breadth of possibilities available to him. Youthful naivety tells our children that they can all be astronauts or NBA all-stars, but too often our own unachieved dreams tell them to disregard their true passions.Life is not about preparing for a certain career. Instead, we should prepare our children for a multiplicity of careers, such as those paths that appear when unexpected doors open or when a desired door closes. At this time, your son believes his happiness is tied to basketball, and he dreams of one day playing in the NBA. You must explain to him that there are many other ways to follow his passion.Many student-athletes believe that hard work and focus will allow them to achieve their dreams, but the reality is that many circumstances prevent us from achieving all of our desires. Your son may quit growing and never be tall enough to play at the professional level. Even if your son is blessed with the necessary talent and physical ability, circumstances beyond his control such as an injury could wipe out his career. We must always have alternate plans in life, even if we are chasing our dreams with dedication and solidarity.WHAT TO DO: There is nothing wrong with your son being passionate about basketball, but he must realize the necessity of alternate plans. Career goals without contingent plans are vulnerable to life's ups and downs.Explain to your son that he can pursue basketball as a career, even if he is unable to play in the NBA. He could be a college coach, a journalist for Sports Illustrated or an NBA executive, but none of these is possible without continued education after high school.A love of basketball should not be mutually exclusive to an education. Basketball is more than simply dribbling and shooting the ball. There will always be those who are able to live the basketball dream from high school to college to the NBA, but your son needs to know that very few people actually play professional basketball. On the other hand, there are thousands of jobs that revolve around basketball, if he prepares himself properly.To help your son understand this, try to harness his passion for the game. Ask him if he would like to have a job one day that focuses on basketball. Tell him this is possible, but he must have several choices that he can pursue. Yes, he could one day become the next Michael Jordan, but if that is not the case, he can still pursue a career in basketball -- but it may not involve dribbling and shooting on the court.Turn your son's love of basketball into an impetus for learning instead of an impediment. If you show him a positive direction to pursue his passion, you may be surprise just how far he will go.(Write Dr. Yvonne Fournier, Fournier Learning Strategies Inc., 5900 Poplar, Memphis, Tenn. 38119. E-mail her at drfournier(at)hfhw.net.)