Patriots need 'Scarlet' punishment

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The news that there is no news in the Spygate matter does not keep it from being news. And if only it had something to do with Britney Spears, it would be big news, really big news.As it is, we are reassured that the New England Patriots are cheaters, which we already knew, but not really big cheaters, which we do not have to believe.The commissioner of the NFL, Roger Goodell, might not be able to tell us what the Patriots did exactly, but he could promise us after viewing further videotapes that locker rooms were not bugged, communication systems were not manipulated, crowd noise was not amped up and players were not miked, thereby extending the list of ways teams may cheat that they may not even have thought of.Goodell told the press Tuesday, "As I stand before you today. . . . I don't know where else I would turn."Oh, sure he does. I do. We all do. I'll have a couple of suggestions anon.Nothing more shall be done than has been done already, and that does not seem right. If Bill Belichick has been spying for the last eight years, he should not be standing alongside Vince Lombardi and Don Shula and other NFL coaching legends, none of whom, of course, ever did an underhanded thing.Belichick has been allowed to retain more Super Bowl titles than, oh, Mike Shanahan, just to pull a name out of the air, and to be admired for his originality, if never for his wardrobe.What sort of example is this for our children, who will not go out onto the field until they have studied the videotape?If all there was to this is all there is to this, then how is it that an elected official of our government, with all the other problems facing the nation, still is not satisfied? Would Arlen Specter, the senior senator from Pennsylvania, continue to flog the story on and on just on the off chance that he can do what Donovan McNabb could not, win a Super Bowl for the Eagles?This seems as ridiculous as declaring a mission is accomplished at least five years before it gets to the middle.If ever established, the idea that games are not decided on the field but in a flunky's camera might change all that we know and believe about sports, and some opinions have it that this is worse than games being decided in the laboratory.I am not going to argue that here since there are rules against drugs and such but none against deciphering gestures.Goodell defended the ongoing examination of the facts as an issue of integrity and public trust, and still left the matter without satisfying either.To believe the worst is to believe that none of New England's titles is legitimate and that, at the least, they should be vacated and, at the most, the Patriots should never again be allowed to play with honest and forthright teams, such as the Broncos, just to pull a name out of the air.All this is missing is a crestfallen newsboy (are there still newsboys?) sobbing, "Say it ain't so, Bill."And, of course, Bill cannot say such a thing. He has been fined $500,000 already and his team another $250,000 and a No. 1 draft choice, though it still got the 10th pick with the choice from New Orleans.Some punishment for a Super Bowl team, for an ongoing dynasty, for a franchise that can go from here as if nothing has happened.Even the term "Spygate" is one of those borrowed compounds used for any bit of scandal, serving only to diminish its seriousness.The NFL has forgotten that there is an established New England punishment for misdeeds, for publicly humiliating sinners, such as in the public stocks or, more famously, the Scarlet A for Hester Prynne.That is my solution. Until we know for certain, as long as suspicion remains, and these days suspicion is the same as conviction, the Patriots should be required to paint a cartoon video camera on their helmets, replacing that swooshing Minuteman or whatever that is up there.And on their chests they should have to pin a scarlet C, which can stand for any number of things, cheater, camera, charlatan, crook.(Contact Bernie Lincicome of the Rocky Mountain News at lincicomeb(at)rockymountainnews.com.)