Ten tips to help ensure a child's success

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Raising a child is a precious gift, but it also is a great challenge. Here are 10 tips to help ease the burden of getting your children to adulthood.1. Have dinner as a family as often as possible. This is the most effective method of keeping your kids on the positive track and away from negative activities.2. Get your children to summer school as well as summer camp. If your kids take three months off from thinking, it makes it hard to get back into gear when school starts again.3. Don't let your kids have TV sets in their rooms. It's way too tempting to watch late-night shows, and then they won't get the sleep they need. It also gives them an excuse to isolate themselves from the rest of the family. Whenever possible, make TV-watching a family affair.4. Reward your kids for getting good grades. When you do well at your job, you get a raise, bonus or promotion. If you acknowledge your kids with praise and some special activity or reward, they will be more motivated to achieve.5. Listen when your children talk to you. This can be difficult, especially if you have a large family, but if your child feels unheard, he or she may resort to getting that attention by acting out negatively.6. Keep your commitments. If you made plans with your children, do everything you can to keep them. Breaking promises teaches your kids it's OK to not keep your word.7. Tell the truth. Being honest, without sharing things that are inappropriate for children to hear, can be a challenge. It's wise to edit yourself, but it's also important to speak what is real, for most kids can read between the lines.8. Parent by example. If you want your kids to be good people, show them what that looks like by being a good person. Nothing speaks louder than your example.9. Just say no. Setting appropriate limits and boundaries as well as giving proper direction is your job as a parent. Don't try to be your kid's best friend when what he or she really needs is a parent. Saying no may cause your child to be momentarily upset, but he or she feels more protected when you do.10. Prepare your children for the big bad world. Take them to the bank or your job, and expose them to what they will face as they grow up. It will help them to become the people you want them to be.Teaching your children how to be the best they can also will make your family life a little more interesting and a lot more connected. Try it.(Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a marriage and family therapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author of "Emotional Fitness for Couples." E-mail him at Barton(at)BartonGoldsmith.com)