When parents divorce ... Afraid of rejection

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Hi Jewel,My parents are getting a divorce, and I'm devastated. My mom says I will stay in our house, but I will miss my dad so much. He says he will still see me, but it won't be the same.Any tips for kids dealing with divorce? I start high school in the fall, and I'm really going to miss having my dad pick me up sometimes after school and talking about school on the way home.-- DEVASTATEDDear Devastated,I feel for you. It's not easy to process change. However, please don't think that your family is standing alone in this battlefield. In fact, it's estimated that about half of the marriages in the United States end in divorce.According to the folks at kidshealth.org, your family life isn't doomed. Reality is, you may just find positives develop as a result of these new circumstances."You may even discover some unexpected positives. Many teens find their parents are actually happier after the divorce or they may develop new and better ways of relating to both parents when they have separate time with each one," according to the site.Moreover, the changes you're describing are a part of your new family dynamic, too."Depending on what happens in your family, you may have to adjust to many changes. These could include things like moving, changing schools, spending time with both parents separately and perhaps dealing with parents' unpleasant feelings toward one another."You'll find more strength by focusing on the good things in your life. Be grateful for your relationship with your dad. Work to strengthen it.Speak to your dad about your feelings. Let him know how important he is to you. As a team, develop a plan to keep in touch through a new routine. Replace car chats with scheduled phone chats. Share tidbits over e-mails and letters. Catch up via father-daughter outings (i.e. coffee talks, etc.)You should also use this time to build a closer relationship with your mother. I'm sure she could use the moral support. Also ask your family doctor to refer you to a support group so you can meet teens who are coping with parental divorce, too.-- Love, JewelDear Dave,I wrote an e-mail three months ago, but I don't have the nerve to send it. It's to this girl in my Grade 8 class that I really like.The e-mail just tells her I really like her and I would like to get to know her better. I haven't sent it because I don't know what she will do. I've talked to her a few times, but nothing more than a few sentences. I am afraid of being rejected. What should I do?-- SCARED TO FAILDear Scared,I've always liked the phrase, "You only fail when you quit." When you give up and decide to take no chances, I call that true failure. But if you want to get something out of life -- a date, a job, anything -- you're going to need to suck it up and find courage to make things happen.Isn't it better to regret something you did than something you didn't do? And you write that you don't want to send the e-mail because you're not sure how she'll respond. Well, duh! No one knows what other people are going to do, and that's the craziness of society. Our experiences are unpredictable, which can make us frustrated and confused -- but also excited.It's always nerve-racking to tell a girl how you feel, and I don't think e-mail is the best way. Going technological gives you a faceless vibe, and perhaps that's what you're going for. But before you send that e-mail, ask yourself one key question: Would it make a better impression for her to hear the words from your mouth? Even though we live in an e-mail-friendly world, the human touch shouldn't be ignored.Good luck!(Got a hot question for our cool columnists? E-mail Jewel or Dave at submissions(at)ypp.net or check them out at www.ypp.net.)(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.scrippsnews.com)