Long live the Skrulls..

Greetings, future slaves! My name is My'lr, and I am the Skrull replacing Captain Comics for this week.What's a Skrull, you say? Well, if you've been reading Marvel Comics for any length of time, you'd know we're a magnificent race of shape-shifting aliens who have invaded Earth a great many times, only to be foiled by your so-called "superheroes." (Especially the accursed Fantastic Four, may their bedchambers be infested with vermin.)And we're doing it again this summer! Apparently after our Throneworld was eaten by Galactus (1983), our second Throneworld was blown up (1993) and most of our empire was evaporated by the Annihilation Wave (2007), we've gotten some of that old-time religion. And according to our scriptures, Earth is divinely ours, and you folks are just in the way. Tough break, but that's the way the prophecy crumbles.I must say, the Marvel folks really know how to kiss up to their imminent new masters! Their public-relations people have been working overtime the last few weeks, sending out images of Skrulls posing as various superheroes, plus press packets with Skrull masks, so journalists can fit in after we take over (we may need them for propaganda). Last month, Marvel published the free 32-page "Secret Invasion Saga" (summarizing Skrull-human relations since 1962), which is now available as a digital comic on Marvel.com.Also on Marvel's site:-- Digital comics featuring "Kinsey Walden," a human teen-ager who has been video blogging on MySpace since March 12 about her very strange brother (who is probably one of us). A new page of her digital comic appears every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.-- A seven-page "Secret Invasion Prologue" in digital-comic form, showing how one of us infiltrated your space-defense agency, S.W.O.R.D.-- An animated webisode, featuring two perspectives on the invasion, one from Tony "Iron Man" Stark and ours.-- A podcast with Stan Lee, who first wrote about us in 1962. (Also transcribed in "Secret Invasion" No. 1.)So we're everywhere! Especially in the comics themselves. Writer Brian Bendis (who is also probably one of us) has been planting clues to Skrulls infiltrating Earth going back to 2003, in books like "Secret War," "Illuminati" and "New Avengers." Some of our agents have already been revealed, like the ones impersonating Black Bolt, Cobalt Man, Elektra and a few other second-stringers. Oh, and one of us is occasionally pretending to be Ms. Marvel, although we've never gotten around to disposing of the real one.But now that "Secret Invasion" No. 1 (of 8) has been released, I can talk openly about some of our most important spies. For example, now you know that Jarvis was our agent in Avengers Tower, where he initiated the computer virus that took out your puny satellites, the law-enforcement agency S.H.I.E.L.D. and even Iron Man (yes, the butler did it).That S.W.O.R.D. thing mentioned above? Thank our Dum Dum Dugan impersonator. Hank "Jellowjacket" Pym was one of our agents in Camp Hammond, where Avengers are trained, and the full extent of his heroic perfidy has yet to be revealed. The Invisible Woman is our newest replacement, so bye-bye Fantastic Four (and the Baxter Building). "Secret Invasion" No. 1 also leaves in doubt at least 17 other heroes, some of whom you thought were dead. And that's just the first issue of "Secret Invasion"!I know what you are thinking. (We Skrulls are clever that way.) You're wondering what happened to the humans we replaced. And you're wondering how Earth and its heroes can possibly survive such a well-orchestrated, deadly and oh-so-clever attack.That's what the rest of the series is about, foolish monkey boy!Well, plus all the crossovers and miniseries. This month "Mighty Avengers" (with the return of Nick Fury) and "New Avengers" are both "Secret Invasion" tie-ins. Then look for Skrull-o-mania in six titles in May, 10 titles in June and 14 titles in July -- and we're not done yet!Do you need all those books to understand you're being enslaved? "Invasion" Editor Tom Brevoort told IGN.com (http://comics.ign.com/articles/852/852785p2.html) that "if you only read the central limited series, you get a complete story, while the assorted tie-ins may add additional clarity or depth."Hmmm. We'll see about that -- after we win, you humans will be required to read all books with heroic, victorious Skrulls in them. And I may keep this Captain Comics gig permanently.(Contact Andrew A. Smith of the Memphis Commercial Appeal at capncomics(at)aol.com or visit www.captaincomics.us.)