Gratitude that's truly noteworthy

If the ease of e-mail has caused you to stop writing and sending thank-you notes on fine stationery, Kelly Browne's new book will inspire you to return to this increasingly rare but treasured form of communication.

The Los Angeles native and former Beverly Hills debutante is the author of "101 Ways to Say Thank You: Notes of Gratitude for All Occasions" (Sterling Publishing, $12.95).

This step-by-step primer is packed with clear, detailed models of how to express your gratitude for a dinner party, job interview, friendship, romance and those special gifts you receive at weddings, births and graduations. The author also covers condolence notes.

"I felt that people needed to see a guide. It really is pretty straightforward and easy to do," Browne said in a telephone interview.

As a 42-year-old mother of two girls, Greta and Ava, as well as Sam, a stepson, she believes in teaching kindergartners how to write these notes.

When her eldest daughter, 9-year-old Greta, reached that stage, she said, "I would write the note for her and have her copy it. She doesn't want my help now."

After last Christmas, Greta wrote her own thank-you notes, said Browne, who holds a master's degree in screen writing and has written for TV shows and a movie.

She has an advantage over other parents because she is authorized by the Protocol School of Washington, a national etiquette and training program, to teach a class called Modern Manners to children.

The author learned firsthand about gratitude while she was in elementary school. Along with her mother, Browne began volunteering for the AbilityFirst Foundation, which assists children and adults who have disabilities. Last year, President Bush gave her the President's Volunteer Service Award in recognition of the more than 1,200 hours she contributed to the foundation.

After she married in 1998, Browne noticed that members of her generation did not send thank-you notes.

"Either you didn't get a note, or one would come eight months later. They didn't have the courtesy to be grateful. I said, 'This isn't right. What's happened to my generation?'"

Browne believes gratitude is contagious.

"If you send it, the person who gets it is like the Grinch whose heart explodes because he is so overwhelmed with joy."

She urged people not to use photocopy paper for thank-you notes. "It isn't formal enough. It doesn't show that you took the time to make a special gesture."

Here are some of her tips for writing a great note:

-- Hand write your note neatly with no mistakes on good quality stationery. Use blue or black ink.

-- Think about the moment you opened the gift and how you felt; tell the giver and convey your emotion.

-- Say how you plan to use the gift. This demonstrates that the gift was well chosen.

-- Compliment gift givers on their taste or some other facet of their personality to let them know you appreciate them.

-- Limit your note to two paragraphs.

-- Personalize your note to the person, situation and gift. Thank-you notes should never sound generic.

(Contact Marylynne Pitz at mpitz(at)post-gazette.com)

(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)