How the 'clean factor' plays in relationships

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It's no surprise to this self-proclaimed germ freak that, in the world of relationships, the "clean" factor weighs more than some may have thought.When Yahoo Personals and Clorox teamed up to do a survey about how cleanliness affects our love lives, they discovered some very interesting proclivities:-- Almost one-third of respondents found that when it comes to selecting a partner, a person's domestic cleaning habits are very important, and bad habits can be a deal breaker.-- More people would rather date a germ freak than a complete slob.-- Six out of 10 people consider cleaning compatibility to be as important as sharing common interests.-- Over one-third of respondents said their dates had to be both neat and clean, and the vast majority felt they had to be at least neat or clean.It's important to note that contradictory cleaning habits don't necessarily equal the end of a relationship. Only one in 10 respondents said they have ended a relationship over domestic cleanliness incompatibility. And I can't see anyone throwing their kids out of the house because they fail to keep their rooms clean.Finding a comfortable level of clean is something that we have to discuss with our family members. We may have to do a little retraining to discover what works for an evolving household.The general perception that men are the dirtier gender was also proved false by the survey. Both male and female respondents said they clean bathrooms and do their laundry at least once a week.It may be possible for a clean freak to find domestic bliss with a slovenly partner, but the combination is rare. If you are with your opposite in this regard, it's important to remember that nobody's perfect.Not everyone is consistent in his or her desires for a germ-free environment. There are those who are frequent hand washers but also, according to Anne Maczulak, author of "The Five Second Rule," will eat food that has fallen on the floor -- unless, like at my house, the dog gets to it first.She also states that it may actually be safer to eat your sandwich in the bathroom than in the kitchen. Apparently there can be more bacteria in the bottom of your kitchen sink than on a toilet seat.Her book reminds us that common sense and frequent hand washing are our best defenses against the billions of microbes in our world. If you follow the basics, you'll have less to freak out about and more time to enjoy each other.Tolerance is a virtue. So is doing whatever you can to make your loved one feel safe and comfortable, even if it means making hand sanitizer your new best friend.(Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a marriage and family therapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author of "Emotional Fitness for Couples. Contact him at Barton(at)BartonGoldsmith.com)(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.scrippsnews.com)