A different kind of visit to Arlington National Cemetery

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I asked the visitor's desk at Arlington National Cemetery where the more recent graves could be found. They gave me a map and pointed out Section 60 as one of several places. Soon, I'd left behind the other tourists, who were mostly headed toward the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and other major monuments.It was a long walk to Section 60. The cemetery grounds cover 624 acres. There are almost 300,000 who lie at rest here. Usually, there are 24 more burials each day, though none on weekends, which is when I was there.The rows are striking in an understated way that you don't see in other cemeteries. Generals and sergeants lie side-by-side beneath identical white headstones, which stretch into the distance over hilly land.Finally, I reached the newer graves and began to read the stones. Many spoke of multiple wars. Gordon Seymour Hodgson, a Navy captain, served in World War II, Korea and Vietnam. He was born in 1929 and died in 2007. Nearby was a Persian Gulf veteran, Howard Dare Kibble, an Army major, born in 1952, died 2007. A few stones had an added phrase. Morris Dantzker, a colonel who served in World War II, Korea and Vietnam, added the words, "Always do the right thing." He died in 2007 at age 93.I looked around for mourners, but saw none, just tourists. You can tell the difference. Families of those at Arlington often live far away.Then, deep into the section, I saw a small gathering -- a dozen folks around one grave. I held back for 20 minutes, not wanting to intrude. But as they began to break up, I decided to approach, and they were kind enough to chat.I asked if they were honoring a veteran.Several pointed to a tall, older man in their midst. He's the veteran, they said. He was wearing a hat that said, "U.S. Air Force -- Retired."He gave his name as James Curtis, and his age as 72. He said he was here with his church group to pray for the soul of his wife, Sylvia Elizabeth, who had died two years before. I asked how long they were married."Almost 50 years," James Curtis said. Around him, three different voices offered more specifics.They were married in Holy Name Catholic Church in Washington DC., which is where Curtis is from and where he now lives after a career in the Air Force.He said his grandfather, James Patrick O'Neill, was in the service, too, at a time when black soldiers were only assigned to cooking duty or manual labor. He stoked the engines on a battleship during the Spanish-American War. Curtis and his wife had six children. One of them, Lisa Bowler, was with him on this visit. She said it was an interesting life, the family having moved eight times because the military asked them to. They were stationed, among other places, in Alaska, Japan and Thailand.Lisa said they were often the only black kids in their school. Were they accepted?"Oh yes," said Curtis. "We were all military. Brothers and sisters."He said the Air Force was good to him, helping him get a master's degree in logistics management. That was his focus as a soldier, overseeing supply management. While based in Thailand, he supported bombing missions in Vietnam. He entered as a private and retired as a major. He said it will be an honor to be buried among his comrades someday. He said he visits his wife at least every other month. "I tell her a lot of things," he said. "But most of the time, I listen to her." His family laughed at that one. "She sure spoke her mind," he added. We spoke for a half hour. I thanked them, and they returned to their nearby cars. As I headed back, it struck me that writers too often have a fixed notion of what the story will be. I had expected, among the new graves, to see recent battlefield deaths. But the reality of a veterans' cemetery is that each week's burials are of soldiers from many wars, and of their spouses, too. Soon, I was at the entry area, where tourists continued to head to the major monuments. I looked back toward Section 60, and saw few people, just rows of comrades, side-by-side.(Contact Mark Patinkin at mpatinkin(at)projo.com)(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)