ShareThisBuying a car can be a daunting experience. Keeping a car can be worse.Between the screaming television advertisements and the lure of the Web, fighting the urge to buy a new car takes superhuman strength. However, in these questionable financial times, it's a battle that must be fought.In America, it takes a special resolve to stick with a car for more than five years. But with this simple arsenal of common-sense tactics, a senseless auto purchase can easily be avoided.First, be certain your current car is both small and Japanese. The Honda Civic, for instance, is the Keith Richards of automobiles -- it may rust a bit, but it will never die. And though driving a '92 Tercel may not impress the ladies, its habit of starting every morning will dissuade you from trading in.If you're concerned about driving foreign, remember there's a better chance your Japanese car was manufactured in America than the average PT Cruiser. And if you have some aversion to small, plastic vehicles, a nice mid-eighties Volvo serves the same purpose with cold, Swedish steel.Second, research, research, research. This may sound counterintuitive, but it's actually a highly effective method to prevent auto ownership. Scouring the Internet for any and all cars in your price-range will quickly overwhelm you with options. The same technique also applies to Internet dating.Focusing on only one specific make and model is also an excellent tactic -- especially if that model ceased production at least a decade ago. The odds that your exact car is on the market are slim enough; the chances it will have fewer than 300,000 miles are even worse. If the car has low mileage and no obvious body or drive-train damage, it's probably not for sale.Next, be sure to have a great deal of cash on-hand at any given time. As with the excessive research method, a healthy lump of liquidity will make any down-payment possible and any auto a possibility. This technique applies to dating in general.While these tips and tricks work well to avoid a used-car purchase, a brand-new car is a beast of another brand. With an average sticker-price over $30,000, a new car will certainly require financing. Most dealer websites offer a complimentary car payment calculator, meant to help the potential payer. However, such tools can serve a separate purpose.Before comparing the four and six-cylinder, before tacking on a racing suspension or heated seats, slap that sticker price into the calculator. Factor the value of your rusting Tercel, figure your down-payment, close your eyes and click. Now take a good, hard look at the monthly payment you'll make for the next ten years. This should be a feature for Internet dating.And what if, after all of this, your desire for a new set of wheels has not been quashed? What if the weeks of research or the threat of financing have not overwhelmed your need and longing? What if your aged, groaning Civic is pulling its poorly-aligned wheel toward the dealership? Simply remember this: Once that new car rolls off the lot, its value instantly drops by twice the price of your daily driver. Keeping the clunker, meanwhile, is priceless. Plus maintenance.(Ben Grabow writes for the young, the urban, and the easily amused. Contact him at thinlyread(at)gmail.com.)(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.scrippsnews.com)
How to avoid buying a new car...and Internet dating
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