Hate musicals? Give these a try

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For many moviegoers, just the word "musical" is enough reason to stay home and rent a Steven Seagal straight-to-video release. As someone who still favors a good action movie over most independent films, I grew up avoiding singing and dancing whenever possible.But with the DVD release of Julie Taymor's excellent Beatles-themed musical "Across the Universe," it may be time for everyone to give musicals a chance. Since the turn of the century, we've seen an impressive amount of musicals for people who hate musicals. These aren't the well-polished Neil Meron/Craig Zadan productions that Oscar voters have come to love. The films listed below have a rebel streak.Here are my eight favorite musicals for people who hate musicals. ("Across the Universe" wasn't included but would probably fall in the top five.) The definition of a musical is a bit loose. Choreography is not necessary. Any movie in which an actor or actors perform at least three original songs qualifies.8. Romance and Cigarettes (2005): There is absolutely nothing pretentious about this bizarre musical comedy from John Turturro. It's raunchy and dirty, and the choreography looks like it was improvised on the spot. The great cast includes Susan Sarandon, Christopher Walken and James Gandolfini, who can't sing but is awesome any way.7. Little Shop of Horrors (1986): Frank Oz directed this mostly successful adaptation of the classic stage show about a dorky florist who starts taking the romantic advice of a man-eating plant. Rick Moranis is at his best, Levi Stubbs does some classic voice work and Steve Martin makes a hilarious cameo.6. Team America: World Police (2004): A famous Broadway actor is recruited by a team of secret agents to fight terrorism in the Middle East. And it's all done with puppets. As long as you have a sick sense of humor, and you don't mistake this for a children's film and bring the kids, it's a completely awesome and hilarious movie.5. The Muppet Movie (1979): How can anyone on Earth not like this movie? The story is full of great cameos (Orson Welles!), nostalgia and plenty of fun for the kids, but the secret weapon is Paul Williams and Kenny Ascher's great songwriting.4. Purple Rain (1984): This one would have rated higher if the story was a little bit stronger. Prince was never much of an actor, and he only looks good here because Apollonia Kotero is so much worse. But the music is fantastic, starting with the Morris Day songs and finishing with the transcendent "Purple Rain" and "When Doves Cry."3. Hustle & Flow (2005): A lot of people heard "rap" and "pimp" and ruled this movie out. But it's a lot closer to "Rocky" than anything in either of those other categories, showing how a heroic figure can emerge from almost anywhere. Craig Brewer's movie is well-written, and the music is fantastic. The Oscar-winning "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" was really the third-best song in the film.2. The Commitments (1991): Alan Parker, who had already directed "Bugsy Malone," "Fame" and "Pink Floyd: The Wall," had one more good musical in him, and "The Commitments" was his best work. The story of an unlikely collection of bar-band musicians coming together and creating soul music in Dublin, Ireland, is nonstop entertainment. And the songs (including "Mustang Sally" and "Try a Little Tenderness") are so irresistible, you'll soon forget it's a musical and just enjoy the show.1. South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (1999): Known for their political incorrectness and lowbrow humor, Matt Stone and Trey Parker shocked everyone with this musical because the songs, mostly written by Parker, were so good. As the boys inadvertently start a war with Canada, songs such as "Mountain Town" and "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" are as catchy as anything in an Andrew Lloyd Webber play without a note of (unintentional) melodrama.Honorable mention: "Bugsy Malone" (1976); "8 Mile" (2002); "Once" (2006); "Pink Floyd: The Wall" (1982); "Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny" (2006); "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" (2007). (E-mail Peter Hartlaub at phartlaub(at)sfchronicle.com) (Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)