Phone time...intellectual differences

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Hi Jewel,My mom says I spend too much time on the phone. I talk to my girlfriends for an hour to two hours at a time, and she gets on my case. What do you think is reasonable? I'm 14, so it's not like I'm a kid. -- TALKATIVE.Dear Talkative,You're right, Talkative. At the good ol' age of 14 you're not a "kid." You're a young teen who's developing an ever-maturing outlook. At this point, you're also most likely carrying a load of responsibilities. Read: Welcome to teen life.I can understand your desire to yak with fellow gal pals over the phone. I was a huge fan of this mode of communication during my high school years, too. I'd vent on the phone to buds. I'd share unique observations. I'd listen and advise. In other words, I totally get why your fingers are itching to hit your dial pad.While conversing with friends is healthy, your chitchats shouldn't suck up so much of your time that you neglect other responsibilities. After all, all play and no work is a disastrous recipe for an unbalanced life. This is what your mom is worried about.You've got to strike a compromise---not just with your mom, but yourself. Begin by reframing your thinking about these telephone sessions. Come to see them not as a given, but rather a reward you have to earn. Make it a point to only indulge in your favorite pastime once you've tended to other priorities. Think completing schoolwork. Think helping with household chores. Think extracurricular activities. Think volunteer hours. Think spending time with family. Once you've done all that, you can ask for permission to use your remaining time to have telephone heart-to-hearts. Keep in mind the time you have for conversations may change on a daily basis depending on the demands of your schedule. However, if you follow these game rules you'll always be granted the pleasure of yapping away guilt-free because you've met all your goals. -- Love, Jewel. Hi Dave,I'm going to university this fall in my hometown and my girlfriend is going to community college, also in our hometown. My friends say we will grow apart, because I will be taking more "intellectual" courses than her and we will have less to talk about. I don't see it but my friends are confident it will happen. Seems to be like academic snobbery on their part. Has this come up in your advice column before and if so what did you say? If not, what's your take on it? -- VALUE YOUR OPINIONDear VALUE YOUR OPINION:No, it hasn't come up before. But I'm glad you bring up the issue, because you're right in calling it academic snobbery. For some reason, your friends think different school courses could tear up a relationship. Don't listen to them. They are making drama where there isn't any; you don't have to learn the same thing as your girlfriend in order to keep the flames burning. Maybe some of your friends have had bad break-ups that centered on intellectual differences.I think you and your girl can only learn more from each other by the varied courses you'll both be taking. Sharing knowledge and campus experiences will give you lots of conversational routes to travel down, no matter if one of you is going after "higher pursuits."And another thing: just because someone attends community college doesn't mean there's instant dumb-ification (I know, not a real word). College students can step toe-to-toe with university kids, because it doesn't matter what school you go to -- what matters is your curiosity and your own level of academic achievement.I suggest you keep seeing your girl as long as you feel good about your relationship. Don't let the outside chatter and gossip bother you.(Got a hot question for our cool columnists? E-mail Jewel or Dave at submissions(at)ypp.net or check them out on-line at http://www.ypp.net.)(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.scrippsnews.com)