A stress-free Valentine's Day

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Why is it that the day we're supposed to celebrate the person who makes us feel the most special ends up being the day that makes us feel the most stressed? What should I get my beloved? What will my sweetheart get me? Is this romantic enough? Should we go somewhere fancy or spend an intimate night in? Whatever the stresses are, it all usually ends up being about expectations, and whether you or your special someone meets them. What ends up on the sidelines is the reason for the holiday in the first place: Love.Alicia on "Managing Expectations"Even though it may sound like you're angling for a better gift, bringing up Valentine's Day before the actual day can help get everyone on the same page as far as expectations. One of the ways to have a stress-free day is to share ideas about what you may want to do, be it if you want to go out to dinner or have a romantic night in, or setting a price limit of gifts. Phrasing is key: "What should we do for Valentine's Day?" Good. "What are you getting me for Valentine's Day?" Not so good.Sarah on "The Gift"A friend of mine once said, "For Valentine's Day, I get my wife the thing she really wanted but didn't get for Christmas." That's one not-so-romantic way to go about it. We prefer the idea of getting something you both can enjoy. Whether it's tickets to a concert, a couple's massage or something as simple as buying a nice bottle of wine to share, the fact that you're spending time together doing something special is what true love is all about.To avoid another Valentine's Day horror story, here are a few tips:1. Keep It SimpleWhat are the things you keep as mementos of love? No, not chocolate, or flowers, or massage oils. (OK, maybe massage oils.) It's letters. Sometimes we forget this holiday is about our expression of love, and the simple act of telling your loved one how you feel will communicate your love more than a dozen roses ever could. The perfect gift? It's you.2. His Valentine's Day Maybe we've seen too many movies, or read too many cards, but Valentine's Day seems like it's built around men showing their love to the women in their lives. By making the day a two-way street, you not only take some of the pressure off him, but you show him that you appreciate him just as much as he does you.3. Schedule A Monthly Valentine's DayWhy wait until Valentine's Day to show how much you love your partner? Take some of the stress off Feb. 14, and make the 14th of every month Valentine's Day. Plan a nice dinner, write a love note, exchange a list of the 10 things you love about the other person. Whatever it is, it's all about spending time together. We'd say make every day Valentine's Day, but, c'mon...who are we kidding?(The writers are co-founders of Buttoned Up, a company dedicated to helping stressed women get organized. Send ideas and questions to yourlife(at)getbuttonedup.com. For more columns, go to scrippsnews.com.)