Delay sex until ready; don't mind being a nerd

ShareThis

Hi Jewel, It seems all my girlfriends are having sex. I'm 18 and still a virgin.I want to try it, but not with just anyone. It has to be someone that matters to me. Am I old-fashioned? NO SEX YETDear N.S.Y., There's no denying it. Having sex is a big deal. Yes, your body has the opportunity to feel tantalizing pleasure -- but there are other factors to consider. Think emotional vulnerability. Think sexually transmitted diseases. Think unwanted pregnancy. Yikes! It's natural to want to hold off until Mr. or Miss Right appears before making yourself susceptible to such exposure -- especially if it's your first time. The desire to protect your body and mind is never bad, but always warranted. Make no apologies for it.When it comes down to it, life is all about making choices. If your gal pals feel they're ready to be sexually active, then that's their call. However, you aren't destined to follow their lead. You have every right to map out what feels right to you. Remember, individuality is power.Personally, by the time I lost my virginity, I was an adult too. For me, emotional intimacy and sex also go hand-in-hand. I waited until I was in a loving, committed relationship, and only then opened up physically. In short, I had a wonderful experience. In fact, until this day I have no regrets. I know I protected myself in every shape and form.If these values make us 'old-fashioned,' then so be it. We can learn a lot from history, and the tried-and-true ethics that have survived. After all, being modern isn't about trashing everything old school. It's about finding your own identity, and having the equal right to use all resources (tangible or intangible) to shape your life according to your desires.Learn to trust your heart, logic and beliefs. They collectively have more answers than you think.Love, Jewel.Hi Dave, I'm 14 and I'm more into writing than I am into sports. People think I'm a nerd because I like to read and write. I don't plan to change. Will my so-called friends ever grow up? -CONTENT TO BE A NERD Dear CONTENT TO BE A NERD: Guess what? Nerds are the new CEOs, entrepreneurs, inventors and deal-makers. There's nothing wrong about loving writing and reading over sports and TV. At 14, you're at an age where peer pressure says you should be a certain way, hang with a certain crowd, but I admire that you have found your independence and don't plan on jumping on any bandwagon.But to answer to your question, yes, your friends will grow up and eventually find a maturity level that stops them from picking on nerds. Or anyone who's different. Eventually, these kids will need to go to university. They'll need to concentrate on writing, reading and computers (what job doesn't involve computers?) So as much as you hate the jerks today, realize tomorrow those jerks might eventually have nerdy traits of their own.Be yourself and never conform to the status quo. I have a good feeling you already know that, though.Got a hot question for our cool columnists? Contact Jewel or Dave at www.ypp.net and click on the link on the home page or e-mail them at submissions(at)ypp.net(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.scrippsnews.com)