ShareThisDear Dr. FournierAs the holidays approach, I feel relief for the peaceful (without school) time I will have with my family, but also despair because of all of the entertaining, cooking, dirty dishes, decorating, buying, etc. I feel schizophrenic -- happy and sad at the same time. What am I teaching my children? ASSESSMENTBeing a parent is the most difficult task a person can have. When I became a "Mama," I learned to love unconditionally, and that unconditional love can be joyous and painful at the same time. You want your child to be happy and never hurt. But in real life, that isn't possible. The danger is that when you obsessively try to make sure your child is never unhappy, you teach your child to be afraid instead of finding the joy of now and in the moment. Marketers know only too well how much we love our children and families -- and they capitalize on it by convincing us that we must produce "A Holiday Wonderland."We have been made to feel ashamed if we don't do everything to perfection -- without help, and with a smile on our faces.WHAT TO DOThere is nothing wrong with the holidays. There is something wrong with us who are so worried about making them perfect that we miss the joy of the moment amidst all the preparation.Cut your to-do list until it is truly doable. You're not required to be "Super Mom." It is so much better to have your child remember Happy Mom. If making three pies is stressing you, make one. Or have your guests and family join in and cook together. If the house is dirty, it will be dirtier afterwards.Don't stress about the perfect house, either. Clean up the visible mess, and if someone's offended, don't worry about it. They don't need to come back next year, or if they do, they could be the very person you call next time for help. Holidays are supposed to be the time when families and friends come together to create the greatest gift of all -- memories of love through togetherness.Get rid of the fear of the preparation for the holiday, and the pressure of trying to make it perfect. Instead, enjoy the journey, and teach your child the message of unconditional togetherness and love. There is never a better time to enjoy the journey.(Write Dr. Yvonne Fournier, Fournier Learning Strategies Inc., 5900 Poplar, Memphis, Tenn. 38119. E-mail her at drfournier(at)hfhw.net)
How to enjoy your journey through the holidays
Submitted by administrator on Wed, 12/19/2007 - 17:01
Paying taxes unites us. It also divides us. People can pay five and even six times more in state and local taxes than other folks in similar circumstances making similar incomes.
Who's got your number?
In one of the fastest-growing forms of identity theft, crooks are stealing tax refunds by swiping personal information and using it to trick the Internal Revenue Service.
