Grandma and the high-tech holiday gift list

At some point, even the most loving Grandma is no longer impressed by macaroni and glue.During any gift-giving holiday, it seems that our senior relatives make for the most difficult gifts. What to buy someone who will cunningly tell you they're just happy to see your face? It's obvious that our elders are seeking the perfect present and will judge us mercilessly if we cannot guess it.This year, faced with such a dilemma, there was one present that I knew not to purchase. Electronics are rarely considered for those who remember the bygone Golden Age of Radio, much less the further-gone Golden Age of Staring at a Stump. But a new electronic gadget is aimed directly at the golden-aged among us.The HP Printing Mailbox, with Presto e-mail service, is a printer and an e-mail account in one. It requires no computer and plugs into a phone outlet to receive and print e-mail sent from friends and relatives. A Presto customer needs only to load the printer with paper to receive messages that would otherwise require a computer, keyboard, email account, and working knowledge of Internet technology.It's an easy and exciting way to stay in touch with those uncomfortable with computers. And I most certainly did not consider one for my Grandma this year.The most obvious reason that Grandma was not in receipt of the HP Printing Mailbox is that she is far from computer illiterate. She is, in fact, one of a growing number of golden-agers that is computer savvy.All told, my Grandma has been online as long as my youngest sister. She can be found on the Online Scrabble boards under the screenname SweetLittleCatLady48. The name belies not only her fondness for cats but her tendency to toy with prey before striking. She has been known to eviscerate opponents with triple-word-scores in fifteen minutes.It would be safe to say that Grandma knows how to send and receive e-mail. So she would know as well as anyone why an HP Printing Mailbox would make a terrible gift.With Presto service, you can keep in touch with older family members, but so can Nigerian spammers and unscrupulous pharmaceutical pushers. Picture, for instance, Nana and Papa coming down for breakfast one morning to find several new e-mails extolling the virtues of Viagra. Imagine how that phone conversation might go.Imagine the conversation if they were (begin ital) interested. (end ital)Sales material claims that the Printing Mailbox cannot receive spam, but if my own personal e-mail accounts are any indication, even the best spam filters manage to slip up every now and then. And if the printer allows email from only selected family addresses, there's another unintentional type of spam that the Mailbox is guaranteed to receive.Subject: "Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Cute Kitty! Fwd: Fwd: Re: Awwwwww" Body: 32 pages of said kitty. Next Christmas, consider buying some toner.The premise of the HP Printing Mailbox is that older relatives are missing out without e-mail. As nine-tenths of any average inbox can attest, they aren't missing much. Believe it or not, baby photos can still be mailed the "hard" way.When considering gifts for older relatives, one should always ask: Will this make life more complicated? And when the holidays arrive, be thankful that you don't face an even tougher question.What to buy a senior who can shop online? (Ben Grabow writes for the young, the urban, and the easily amused. Contact him at thinlyread(at)gmail.com.)(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.scrippsnews.com)