ShareThisI wouldn't want to watch "I Am Legend" again even if it were the last movie on Earth.Lifelessly adapted from the Richard Matheson sci-fi novel, just like Vincent Price's "The Last Man on Earth" (1964) and Charlton Heston's "The Omega Man" (1971), Will Smith's go-round as the apparent sole survivor of a virus-spawned apocalypse is flatter than real estate industry profits.Like Tom Hanks in "Cast Away," Smith needs to pull off a one-man show, talking to himself, or at times his dog because he has no volleyball to chat up. The shock value of seeing Smith as scientist Robert Neville wander the deserted streets of New York City -- giant spider webs cover buildings, and weeds sprout in the middle of streets -- wears off quickly. You realize you're as lonely and hopeless as Neville, stuck in desolation with little chance of much happening. You watch Neville and his dog go through their daily routine. He does some pull-ups, eats a little canned food, spits out canned one-liners at his dog, visits the video store and waits out on a pier in hopes of happening upon another survivor. When he's at home, Neville researches the disease that transformed 90 percent of the population into flesh-hungry zombie vampires, using his immune blood to formulate a vaccine. At night he battles the badly computer-animated baddies with a handy sniper rifle. Neville thinks the bad guys hide out in dark corners of the city, but from their looks, it seems they live in a GameCube."I Am Legend" was directed by Francis Lawrence, who made the decent drama "Constantine" and a bunch of music videos for the likes of Britney Spears and the Pussycat Dolls, all of which are probably more intense than "I Am Legend."Those expecting a robust Will Smith action flick in the vein of "Men in Black" or "Independence Day" will be more disappointed than the GOP leadership when Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize. There are more explosions and better fights in "Becoming Jane."Other than a few tense flashbacks, "I Am Legend" is a not-so-funny show about nothing. You stare at the screen and will something -- anything -- to liven things up. Ooh, he's locking up the windows!The biggest head-scratcher comes when Neville wakes up in his living room, having been dragged there while he was unconscious. He starts a "Shrek" DVD and speaks along with every line. Ha, ha. We get it. Guy's been holed up solo for too long and has had the time to memorize movies. But then Neville keeps going. And going. And going. It's annoying but when he stops you're let down because now you're back watching "I Am Legend" and "Shrek" is a much better movie, even with some obsessive freak going all "Monty Python" on it.Smith is an affable, magnetic performer, but he's no miracle worker, and can't keep things entertaining with a soul-sucking script. You'll walk out of the theater muttering "I am lessened."2 stars out of 4Rated: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence.Cast: Will Smith, Alice Braga, Charlie Tahan.Director: Francis Lawrence.Family call: Generally fine for kids.Running time: 100 minutes.(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)
Smith can't save lifeless 'I Am Legend'
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