Keep those resumes short

When it comes to your resume, keep it short. Spotlight skills and accomplishments that relate directly to the prospective employer's needs instead of writing in detail about every position you've ever held. A newspaper-delivery route you had in high school is probably not relevant to your current job search unless it is the only work experience you have. The following candidates should have cut to the chase:

COVER LETTER: "In no particular order, I've served stints as a marketing director, poet, bookkeeper, honky-tonk DJ, bartender, teacher, line cook, office manager and wrangler of chaos."

You definitely get points for versatility.

"JOB HISTORY: Arcade attendant: I count tickets. I shred tickets. I try my best to convince customers that giant SpongeBob SquarePants toys are worth the 100 bucks they wasted on arcade games."

Sounds like you have a future in sales.

For some unknown reason, this recent graduate, who was applying for a job as a copywriter, devoted significant space to a science paper he once wrote:

COVER LETTER: "The focus of my research was on how much worse allergies are when the mold spores that cause allergies enter your body in a frozen state. Not only will you sneeze, but your nose is incredibly cold, too."

Gesundheit!

This advertising professional didn't prove overly convincing with her bizarre comment:

"AWARDS: My employer named me the winner of a direct marketing award. I received a very fashionable bag that I now use for dirty laundry."

It's the gift that keeps on giving.

Finally, it should go without saying, but calling attention to your lunch cravings also is a bad move.

COVER LETTER: "I've been on an egg-salad sandwich kick lately, but I feel a peanut-butter sandwich week coming on."

For more Resumania, and to submit samples you've come across, visit www.resumania.com. Examples can also be sent to Resumania, c/o Robert Half International Inc., 2884 Sand Hill Road, Suite 200, Menlo Park, Calif., 94025, or faxed to 650-234-6998.

(Max Messmer is chairman and CEO of Robert Half International Inc., a specialized staffing firm, and author of "Managing Your Career For Dummies" and "Job Hunting For Dummies," 2nd Edition. His most recent book is the newly released "Human Resources Kit For Dummies," 2nd Edition.)

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