ShareThisBy SCOTT OSTLER
San Francisco Chronicle
Monday, June 25, 2007
Apparently I am not hip. Nor hop.
When I heard that Pacman Jones and his pals were trying to "make it rain," in Las Vegas, I assumed they rented a plane and were seeding the clouds.
But no, they were in a strip club, flinging handfuls and sackfuls of dollar bills into the air to impress the women dancers. No wonder I couldn't get girls to dance with me in high school.
Whether or not Pacman and his pack turn out to be guilty of the felonies with which they are suspected, Jones' off-field activities in recent months have given many of us a glimpse into a recreational pursuit that seems glamorous and alarming.
Many questions remain.
Pacman and his posse always seem to leave strip clubs in a bad mood, angry at other patrons of the establishment. What's the deal? Aren't there enough girls to go around?
Are Pacman and his crew annoying? Do they talk during the performance? Slurp their drinks? Ignore the sign saying, "No shirt, no shoes, no service"?
On at least three occasions, fights have broken out with other patrons and employees, and on two of those occasions the end result has been gunfire. In the most recent incident, someone in the car containing some of Pacman's posse fired several shots into the car of some other people, and someone in that car returned fire.
Wouldn't these strip-club aficionados be better off driving tanks? Or moving to Iraq?
If your entourage drives off in three cars, is that called a possecade?
Those clubs must be dangerous. Do the dancers wear Kevlar pasties?
How does "making rain" work? Do the girls get to keep only what falls into their tip jars? If you're on a tighter budget than Pacman is, can you throw loose change into the air and "make it hail?"
All I know is that what happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas, sometimes for several years in a prison cell.
Other deep thoughts, cheap shots & bon mots ...
_ Lane "Too Tough" Kiffin gets heat from the league office for running OTAs (organized team activities) that cross the line and get a little too rugged. To which Oakland Raiders fans everywhere raised a toast. The message: Our OTA ain't no B&B, baby.
_ Apparently, by comparison, the 49ers' OTAs were Kamp Kushy.
_ Wonder if Pacman's posse holds OTAs.
_ If the A's go all the way, ownership will go broke buying all those World Series rings.
_ So far there's no verification of the rumor that Don Nelson would love to draft the very athletic 7-foot Chinese player Yi Jianlian and have him surgically reduced to 6-6.
_ I keep hearing that the Lakers can't trade Kobe because their Hollywood $2,000-per-seat courtside clientele demands a glamour player. Those Hollywood fans understand that if you have a great actor in a lousy movie, it's still a lousy movie, i.e.: last season's Lakers.
_ A British mountain climber recently placed the first-ever cell-phone call from the summit of Mount Everest. And he was disappointed when told that Domino's doesn't deliver above 25,000 feet.
_ Hey, at least the guy didn't sit down on the summit and play Xbox.
_ Sure the San Francisco Giants are spending a lot of money on Barry Zito's six-year contract. If it's any consolation, if he keeps pitching this way it will seem like a 15-year contract.
_ Zito often says he tries to get too fine. Tim Lincecum recently said he's trying too hard to work the corners. Memo to Giants' pitchers: Pound zone.
_ Maybe clothes don't make the man, but who did you put your money on when Aaron Baddeley stepped to the first tee last Sunday wearing a wide white belt, and Tiger showed up wearing his clingy red superhero Golfman shirt?
_ How many years down the road do you think it will be before Tiger shows up on the tee fat and chain-smoking?
_ The San Antonio Spurs: Ford Taurus of NBA champions.
_ It's sad that people don't appreciate the Spurs, just because they're not up-tempo or glamorous. That's why I have so much appreciation for true Spurs fan Eva Longoria.
_ The Spurs' parade along San Antonio's Riverwalk will finish up any day now.
_ Nike says it's not going to dump Michael Vick as an endorser just because of demands by the Humane Society. But my sources say that even if Vick is never charged, he won't be getting an endorsement deal with Hush Puppies.
_ This just in: Hank Aaron's still not coming.
